Soul Longings

Soul Longings

When I open my heart then I can see

The soul of the person looking back at me

The pain that is hidden behind their eyes

And covered over by so many lies.

What hidden truths do they avoid

In order to somehow fill the void

Created by anger, fear and pride

And all the hurt they carry inside?

Do I really want to know their soul,

To share their pain, their hand to hold?

Or am I too afraid to see

My own pain being reflected back at me?

Open my heart and soul I pray

That I might somehow find the right words to say

Words of comfort, love and truth

That will enable each one to revisit their youth

To find the secrets hidden there

And have the courage their souls to bare.

For it is my soul you need to know

Then together into the unknown we can go

For only my soul can reveal

The hidden potential that is real.

Perhaps one day you too will see

The soul of the person looking back at thee

Longing to be known and to be loved

Longing to be with our Father above.

So open my heart and soul I pray

Soften my soul, teach me to play.

Teach me to be humble, teach me to love

So that I might receive blessings from above.

Linda Munster
20.06.12

Eternal Benefits of a Relationship with God

I was reading Mary’s Blog recently and in it she asked us to consider the Eternal Benefits of a Relationship with God and this really struck a chord with me.  Why had I not considered this before?  I know that the real me is my soul, the feminine expression of our complete soul.  I know that life continues after the shedding of the physical body and it is then that our real and potentially eternal journey begins. I know that God is t he Great Over Soul of the Universe and the only way to connect with Her is on a soul to Soul basis.  So why then had it not occurred to me to consider the Eternal benefits of a relationship with God before?

This is very timely for me to reflect upon as I have recently been talking to my children (now grown) about this journey I am on and my developing relationship with God, the most important relationship in my life.  It is confronting for them to hear me say this as, like so many others, they see my relationship with their father, my husband and my soulmate, as the most important relationship in my life and I have not yet found the right way to explain this relationship I have with God and why it is so important. And now that Mary has raised it I can see that the Eternal benefits of a relationship with God is really the key isn’t it?

With God I am always safe. He will guide me and show me the best way forward and will never tire of my questions nor get impatient with me when I don’t ‘get it’ or need to be shown several different ways before I truly understand.

Anything I want to know He can teach me, from the most basic questions about myself to the most complex questions about life, the universe, the soul and His qualities and attributes and He will never get impatient with me or judge me for asking ‘silly’ questions.  He will never need to make me feel stupid or inferior in order to make Himself seem superior or smarter.  No Matter how much I think I know there is always more to learn and God is the only Being who knows everything there is to know about anything at all.

I will never be alone even if I can’t see or physically feel anyone else with me I know that God is always there and that He delights in my company and wants to be with me even when I am feeling low or unlovable He will always be there waiting for me to let Him in and allow Him to love me.  And He sends me guides and guardians who I can more easily connect to and who are only too willing to help me and be my friend and they too are always there when I need them.

I will always be loved and as I open my soul more and more to this Love I will KNOW that I am loved and as a result of this great Love in my soul I will want to share my love with each and every one of my brothers and sisters both mortal and spirit.

God will always support me to follow my passions and desires and when these are out of harmony with love He will gently show me this and help me to recognize the truth without judgement or expectation.

He is my greatest cheer leader and my biggest fan and will always support me in everything I do even if those things are out of harmony with love and truth because He honors my free will and He knows that His Laws will gently bring me back into harmony with Love and Truth.

He will always provide for me no matter where I am, all I have to do is ask with love, humility and sincerity and it will be given to me and if at times my prayers seem not to be answered I know that it is because I am out of harmony with Love and Truth and God’s Laws will show me this as long as I am willing to see the truth.

With God Life and Love are an eternal progression, I will never stagnate or be bored, there will always be new things to learn about myself, about Love and Truth and about the Universe.  With God life is exciting.

A relationship with God brings me great joy and as I grow in Love and Truth the level of joy I feel in my life grows until eventually I will experience a life of total bliss in every moment.  Imagine it!  Every minute of every day filled with Bliss and joy – who wouldn’t want that?

When I make God a central part of my life I can also progress in love towards my soulmate and eventually come to know my complete soul, my true self, then life really gets interesting (or so I have been told!)

I am sure there are many more benefits to an Eternal Relationship with God but for now this is all I can come up with.  Even so, it provides some pretty awesome reasons to want to have an Eternal Relationship with our Heavenly Parent don’t you think? 

Open My Heart and Soul I Pray

This is a poem that I wrote a little while ago but as I re-read it now I realize that it is just as relevant now as I struggle to face the truth of the errors in my soul which prevent God's Love from entering me. I hope it helps.
love
Linda

Open my heart and soul I pray

Feeling angry, feeling sad

Feeling as though my whole life

I have been bad

Feeling lonely, feeling confused

Hating feeling that through my life

I have been abused

Feeling lost, feeling afraid

Not wanting to visit these places

Where my darkest secrets have been laid

Longing for guidance, longing for love

Will anyone answer my call

From Heaven above?

Pain in my body showing me truth

Resisting the messages of love

Preferring to remain aloof

Will I ever learn to let go and trust

That God’s ways are perfect

And surrender I must?

Open my heart and soul I pray

Help me face those hidden truths

That rack my soul

And keep Your Love at bay.

Open my heart and soul I pray

Give me courage to face the truth

Open my heart and my soul I pray

Teach me to surrender to Your way

Linda Munster

25.03.11

Clouds

I wrote this a little while ago but now that I re-read it I realize that it is as relevant today as it was then. I am still struggling with a deep causal emotion that I have been slowly working through over the past few months.  How little I understand about God and Her /Divine Love.  I want this to change!  I pray for the courage and the willingness to step deeply and completly into my fear and grief so that I might fully let go of all of my errors and and allow God's healing Love in.

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Clouds are rolling in across the valley floor now, floating softly through the air and forming a curtain of mist disguising the ridges behind them and temporarily changing the landscape.  But they do not sit still as they softly glide by, creating new vistas with every change as they rise up to meet the thicker band of cloud that is sitting atop the mountain and blocking it from view. 

It is darker now in the valley, grey and dull, but above the clouds a light shines through and a tiny speck of blue reminds me that nothing in God’s universe is permanent and that change is inevitable, even welcomed. 

So why then do I hold on so tightly to the things that cause me pain, not trusting this process, having no faith in the potential gain?  And yet right before me a transformation is taking place as soft clouds roll through the valley and lift gently over the mountains with such effortless ease and I am wondering what prevents me from gliding through this process of transformation of the soul?  What prevents me from embracing the changes in my soul, from grasping hold of those glimmers of light that have the power to lift me from the valley of despair and carry me over the mountains of doubt and fear into God’s loving embrace?  Why do I hold so tightly to the errors that cause me pain and keep me anchored to the valley floor?

As I silently observe God’s gifts unfolding across the sky I am greeted by a soft breeze, cool and fresh, lifting the clouds out of the valley so that they might merge with the vast sky and I can’t help but wonder what truth this is revealing to me?  Will God’s Love carry me out of my despair and beyond the restraints of my own soul to new heights where anything is possible?  Do I trust that this is possible?  Have I not already experienced the joy of soaring high on God’s Divine Love?  Why then do I still not trust this process unconditionally? What fear keeps me from relinquishing control to the Supreme Commander and allowing His Love and Laws to lead me where I need to go?

There is as yet so much that I still have to discover about my own soul, so many pains to feel and release and so much joy to experience.  I pray that with God’s help I will learn to fully embrace this process and to rejoice in the release of each error so that I might allow my soul to lift gently out of the valley of despair and learn to soar high upon the wings of God’s Love from where anything is possible and love and truth rule the day.

with love

Linda

Love is a gift

This is something that I have been reflecting upon a lot lately.  Hope it helps.

Love is a gift and it should be given freely.

Most people would agree with this statement, I agree with this statement!  The problem is that in all of the relationships that I have had in my life this has not been the case.  This is a harsh reality to face but it is nevertheless the truth.

As I continue to open my heart and soul to God’s Love and Truth I am coming to realize that every relationship that I have had in my life, including my soulmate relationship, has had conditions attached to it, addictions that I need to have met, unloving demands placed upon the recipient of this so-called love.  I ‘love’ you so you must love me back. I ‘love’ you so you must provide for me and keep me safe. I ‘love’ you so that you will be my friend etc. But this is NOT love, it is demand couched in unloving expectations and it is not a gift at all.  A gift should be freely offered without expectation or demand.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Gift as “the voluntary transfer of property without compensation”.  The trouble is that I am beginning to realize that I have given very little in my life as a true gift, I have always wanted something in return – love, recognition, acknowledgement, a gift in return, and this is not true giving, it is not love, it is demand born out of addiction.   How shocking it is to recognize this truth about myself! 

The truth is that I do not yet know how to truly love as God intended us to love – freely and without demand or expectation.

So how do I get to this place of being able to give freely and to love freely without demand or expectation? 

I am coming to realize that the only way to do this effectively is with God.  By gradually opening my heart and soul to God’s Truth, the errors in my soul can leave me and God’s Love can take their place.  And this process requires true humility, something that I am still struggling with and I realize that I do not yet really understand love. I do not yet know how to love unconditionally. I do not yet know how to give myself freely, from the heart without expectation or demand, and this is the biggest barrier that I face in my soulmate relationship, in all of my relationships.

 I wish that I could write that I finally understand love and that I am at last truly able to love unconditionally, but the truth is that I am only just beginning to understand love and in order to grow in love I must turn to God and ask Him to show we the truth of the errors in my soul that prevent love from blossoming there.  I must somehow find the courage to let go of all my old false beliefs around love and allow God to show me the truth.  I must be willing to learn to love God and myself first so that I can love others as God intended – freely and without expectation or demand.  And truthfully, right now I am struggling with this.  I am finding it difficult to let God love me the way She wants to, completely and freely, for God can only love me as much as I am willing to allow that love in.  I am struggling to accept that in order to love I must fully let go, for it is only in the letting go that love can truly blossom.

Please God, give me the courage and the willingness to let go of all of my false beliefs and expectations around love so that real love might fill my soul and I might learn to love freely and unconditionally in return.

with love

Linda

Addictions, personal responsibility and getting to know the real me

From my journal

I am struggling to allow myself to feel into the cause of my shoulder pain and I pray for God’s continued guidance and assistance, but right now I am feeling a bit numb.   

This morning I find myself alone again and I am feeling lost.  I am beginning to open up my soul to the truth of my relationship with John, my soulmate, and I don’t like what I see!  So many addictions have been at play on both parts.  For my part I know that I am addicted to the security that this relationship offers; to the idea of John, my soulmate and to the desire, the hope of one day having a real soul to soul relationship, if I can only hang on long enough!  I want him to change and I have projected a LOT if demand upon him; I want him to make my life better and I have projected a LOT of neediness upon him; I want things to be done my way and I project anger when they are not; I feel helpless, powerless and overwhelmed most of the time and I need him to reassure and support me; I want to avoid the hard stuff, I want to run and hide when things get difficult! 

And now I find myself finally beginning to open up to the responsibility for myself on all levels and I am hugely confronted by the task at hand.  I want to fall back into old patterns of running and hiding.  I hold onto the error of wanting, no needing to please others, especially my mother in the hope that she will finally approve of me; and in this whole process I am sacrificing myself, sacrificing love.  I know this now but the challenge of changing old habits, of letting go of addictions is difficult and for the first time in my life I am beginning to feel some empathy for those who suffer from physical addictions – drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food.  For the first time in my life I am beginning to understand what drives these addictions and why people feel they need to escape from reality. 

We have all been escaping from the reality of our true selves, our soul, for most of our lives.  We have been hiding behind our façade selves, the self we have created in order to survive our environment and hide our pain, the mask we put on in order to make ourselves more presentable, more acceptable to the world.  The trouble is that when we begin to allow ourselves to awaken to this truth, the façade is no longer acceptable to the real self and so begins a process of awakening and it is, at first anyway, a painful process as we begin to allow ourselves to open up to the truth of our reality one little piece at a time.

It feels like I am now constructing this giant jigsaw puzzle and I really have no idea what the pieces look like, but as I find the courage to delve deeper into the truth of my existence, face the damage in my soul and take full responsibility for my soul condition then, bit by bit, God’s Love begins to reveal the hidden pieces of my true self, my soul and a new picture is created.  One based upon love and truth instead of façade, illusion and pretense and these pieces are unlike anything I have seen or experienced before.  And I now find myself in a place where I am unwilling to compromise this process because I am excited by the little bits that are being revealed and the way they now play out in my life and I want to know what the whole picture looks like – I want to know the real me, the me that God created and who She alone sees.  And so I find myself at a crossroads knowing which way I want to go but wondering if I really have the courage to walk a different path, a path supported by God and my Celestial Guides but as yet still at odds with the world in general and my family’s view of how my life should be. 

I have no idea what lies ahead, I can not yet see the big picture for mostly I am still fumbling and stuck on working out this one tiny part that I am currently working on.  I just know that I can not continue in the old patterns and addictions of the past – I want more!  I want to know the real me.  I want to discover what my soul is passionate about, the things that bring me and others joy. I want to live a life of passion and desire in all aspects of my life.  I want to learn how to truly live and laugh and love – every day, not just occasionally but every day. 

Dare I hope that this is possible for me?  Do I really have the courage to confront each and every one of my own addictions and face up to and own the truth of their creation within me? I honestly do not know, but I do know that I have to try and that with God’s help anything is possible, even the transformation of a dark and broken soul. 

My hope, my prayer, is that as I begin to heal my soul and erase the dark corners of my hidden self, my real self, I will begin to grow in love and my soul will begin to shine making it irresistible to the other half of me, my soulmate and that together we will discover our true passions and desires, our true purpose in life, our hidden talents and our uniqueness so that we may serve the world through love and desire and in so doing experience a joy and bliss in every moment that as yet we find difficult to conceive of, yet alone imagine the possibilities of. 

With God anything is possible, even the recreation of a lost and broken soul.

Linda

11.04.2012

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I wrote this poem a while ago but it fits well with what I am currently experiencding so I have included it here

Broken

Lost little pieces of my soul

Fractured,

Fragmented,

No longer whole.

Overwhelmed and confused

Doubting God’s loving plan

Wanting to heal

Not sure if I can.

Who am I?  I no longer know

Trying to piece together

The little broken bits of my soul.

Praying for guidance

For the courage to see

How these little broken bits

Come together to form me.

But the pieces are small

Shattered and scattered

Making no sense at all.

How do I mend my broken soul

When pain and anguish have taken their toll?

Who will guide me?

Whom do I trust?

For God’s Mercy and Love

My soul does lust!

But it seems that God is far away

From this confused, lonely child

Who has lost her way.

Dare I ask for help,

For guidance from above?

Will God hear my plea

And fill my soul with love?

Lost little pieces of my broken soul

Gradually being recovered through faith and trust

And tenderly restored with love and truth.

Through anger, fear and grief I find

The lost little pieces of my broken soul

Coming together to make me whole.

Guided by faith and trust and love

I find God’s Grace and Mercy

Gradually healing my broken soul.

How can I thank You

For Your patience and understanding

For Your soft, gently touch,

For never being demanding?

You patiently wait for me

To have the courage and willingness to see

That I alone can find my way

Through the broken pieces

And the foggy haze

To the truth of my broken soul

Before You can begin to make me whole.

Your love is waiting for each of us

To have the courage to learn to trust

To face the secrets of our youth

And find the willingness to face the truth.

Your love does transform my broken soul

Healing my pain, making me whole.

Linda Munster

23.05.11

The Power of Love and Truth

The Power of Love and Truth

It has been some time since I posted anything here and I guess that I could easily come up with a dozen different excuses, but the truth is that I have been feeling into some fear around these postings especially now that I am aware that some of my family members occasionally follow my posts.  Funny isn’t it how easy it is to share your innermost thoughts and feelings when you feel you are under the veil of secrecy and how much more difficult that becomes when you feel ‘exposed’! 

So here I am stepping fully into the light and allowing the Law of Attraction to show me what I still need to learn and to feel.  So, over the coming weeks I will be posting much more honestly about my experiences over the past few months and allowing myself to feel whatever fear/grief/anger/shame might arise as a result of stepping more fully into truth.

I have recently returned from an amazing week at Uralla, just south of Armidale where I stayed with my beautiful friend Carina. I am noticing how much easier my life flows when I allow myself to follow my passions and desires.  I have had an interest (maybe even a passion) around Raw Food for some time but have not been allowing myself to fully engage in that.  There is always an excuse – it’s too fiddly, you have to think ahead, unsure of the menus and flavors – the list could go on but the truth is that I was avoiding a desire out of a feeling of unworthiness and a lack of self love.  Anyway, when I heard that Susan was running a Raw Food day at Kyabra I decide to attend, packed my bags and headed south for a week.  I have also had a desire to learn more about mediumship and to seek some guidance around developing my mediumship ability so I stayed for the mediumship discussion on the following Thursday.

A lot happened in this week – the weather was perfect – the Raw Food day was totally inspiring – I explored the area and discovered some beautiful spots around the area where I could be close to God – I caught up with some beautiful friends and met some amazing people – I learnt a bit about mediumship and about myself and I learnt more about the power of love and truth and this is what I really want to share with you.

On Wednesday night I had dinner with Dave and Alexis at their place and it was lovely to get to know them both a little better.  In the course of conversation after dinner Dave channeled his aunt who said that I had a group of dark spirits with me waiting for the opportunity to attack.  I felt into the truth of that and felt that my sister was with them.  Both Dave and Alexis are very strong mediums and they confirmed this for me.  Kathy has been in spirit for just about four years and I had felt that she was in quite a dark condition.  What transpired over the course of the next two to three hours was truly amazing. 

Alexis channeled the spirits and Dave spoke to them while I felt into what was happening and prayed for Divine Love.  It took a while but eventually a group of these spirits went with their celestial guides but my sister remained, angry, confused and adamant that the Catholic way was the only way.  At some point the roles change with Dave channeling Kathy and Alexis talking to her while I continued to try to feel what was going on and praying for Divine Love. 

Both of the boys could feel the pain in her body and her fear and confusion, I gave a brief outline of her medical history and of the cancer she suffered when she was thirteen years old.  She confirmed that she has been feeling this fear in her gut since she was a girl and she spoke a little about her experiences during the chemo and radium therapy and the ongoing effects of that.  What struck me about this whole process was how compassionate and patient both Dave and Alexis were and how much love I felt in the room. For the first time I began to understand what she had been through, not just when she was thirteen but over the many near death experiences that she endured throughout her life (six in all).  Alexis was very gentle in the way he introduced the Truth to Kathy and eventually she began to open up to the Truth, not only of what had happened to her but of what she was now doing to me by trying to control me and ‘correct’ my behaviour.  As she allowed herself to feel even a little Alexis could then point out that things had changed, she could see and feel the difference in her spirit body, but she was still very afraid and quite angry.  Eventually a shift occurred, maybe it was the love she began to feel from me, maybe it was the love and compassion she could feel from the boys, maybe she had received a little of God’s Love in this process, maybe it was a combination of all of this, but eventually she surrendered to the Truth quite deeply and I could now feel a big shift had taken place.  She was now ready to see our grandfather who had been present the whole time.  Pa has been in spirit for around fifty years and is now a beautiful Celestial spirit and one of my guides and Kathy was totally taken back by how bright and beautiful he is.  I know that she will be alright now. Pa has walked the journey that she will need to walk, he has let go of the false beliefs that he held onto dearly for such a long time and he understands her struggles.

Even as I write this I can feel the love that was present then and how deeply it affected not only Kathy but me as well and I am very grateful to God for the way His Laws are constructed to ensure that each and every one of His children has the opportunity to learn the Truth and to feel His Love.  This experience showed me how powerful it is when we allow ourselves to surrender fully to the Truth and allow Love in.

Thank you Dave and Alexis, I will always be grateful for the gift that you gave so freely and thank you Kathy for teaching me the power of Love and Truth and Surrender.  May God continue to bless and support you all on your journeys towards Love and Truth.

With much love

Linda

20.03.12