Reflections Upon The Year That Has Been – 2015

As the New Year marches on filled with challenges and surprises it is probably a good time to reflect upon the year that was – 2015.

As I sit in quiet contemplation I find myself not wanting to see so many truths that God has been gently guiding me to open my soul to for such a long time.  And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have such patience, such compassion, such understanding and such love, as God has, for everything and everyone despite our flaws and weaknesses.

How different would my life have been if truth and real love had been the governing factors throughout my life and not just in the past six years? Sure, I have attempted to live my life from a place of acceptance, tolerance and love – at least since I was old enough to make conscious and meaningful choices for myself.  But in all this time the real driving force has been a desire to be loved; a desire to be understood; a desire to be accepted.  And in coming from this place of addiction I have automatically been out of harmony with love.  It has taken some very hard lessons to begin to crack open the tough exterior shell around my soul.  And looking back now I am grateful for those hard lessons.  But there is still so much work to be done.

Upon reflection I can see now how much of my life and the choices I have made have been driven by fear of rejection.  Until I am able to really get to the heart of the cause of these addictions it will be very difficult for me to feel truly accepted, truly loved and truly valued.

What would life be like if we learnt to live from a place of acceptance and tolerance; acceptance of ourselves as we truly are in this moment, and tolerance for our faults, hurts and injuries?

What would life be like if we truly learnt to love as God loves – unconditionally and totally, with respect for our free will and compassion for the injuries that drive our unloving choices?

What does real love actually mean? What would real love actually do?

The clue is in the above statements about how God loves – unconditionally, totally, with respect for the free will of every person regardless of their injures, and tolerance for their/our unloving choices whilst having compassion for the hurt child locked deep within and wanting to find his/her voice.  If we look around at our natural environment in its pristine state we can see little clues everywhere.

God does not give us everything we want.  God sees beyond the here and now.  He sees deep into our souls to the very core of our being and He understands what drives our thoughts and actions – those in harmony with love and truth and those driven by fear.  He knows WHY we say or do the things we do and He has total compassion for our brokenness. He also knows what would happen if He gave in to our demands and unloving addictive behaviour.

Since the beginning of time God has been observing the rise and fall of the human soul.  Watching our journey with compassion and understanding as we grapple with being mind-dominance and compete for power and control, trying to avoid our deeply buried hurt and pain, and setting up a chain reaction which continues to reverberate down the ancestral lines. He has consistently sent us many teachers and messengers who have had more courage and more understanding of Love than most to show us the way over this time – the great prophets, Jesus, Mohamad, Budda, Ghandi, Mandella, Mother Theresa and many others have been shining a guiding light upon earth for many millennia. Sometimes we recognize these great teachers and sometimes we don’t.

The problem of course is that Love and Truth will always confront error and addiction and this results in pain.  We have a tendency to run away from pain.  We have in-built pain receptors in our body which act as beacons sending warning signals and when these are triggered we mostly learn to avoid the painful stimuli – like sharp knives, hot saucepans, fire and a host of other painful stimuli.

But what do we do with the painful emotional stimuli, the ones which tell us what is going on in the soul? 

Mostly we ignore them.  We want to avoid feeling our sadness, our despair, our hopelessness, our fear, our grief and especially (for me anyway) our rage.  We have been so conditioned to believe that in order to be a ‘good’ person we must sacrifice ourselves in order to please others and keep the peace.

But what about me? Surely in God’s eyes I am just as important as anyone else?

Why then has this false concept of self-sacrifice taken hold and spread throughout humanity like an uncontrollable wildfire? 

The only logical answer can be that in response to sacrificing ourselves in order to gain ‘love’ and ‘approval’ we perpetuate the error by unconsciously demanding that others meet our addictions to help us avoid our fears and make us feel better about ourselves.

As children we rely on adults for our survival and it is easy to understand why we quickly learn to sacrifice ourselves in order to feel safe, protected and loved.  Some children never feel safe, protected and loved.  And so, without even thinking, as adults we naturally begin to demand from others that which was taken from us as children.  We become selfish without even realizing it.  Most of us wander through life in this half-dream state. Gradually shutting down to our hurt and pain while at the same time ramping up our demands that others help us avoid the hurt and pain within.  We are seeing more and more of this in society with increasing incidences of dementia, Alzheimer’s, suicide and mental illness.  What we do not yet seem to realize is that it is the soul which drives our lives – not the mind.  The soul – not the mind, is the powerhouse of the real me.  When I honour my soul, the sensory apparatus which houses my passions, desires, longings, emotions, memories, humility, love, intentions, personality, free will, instinct, energy, and more, I am honouring my real self – my half of the soul.

In order to grow in love I must first grow a desire for truth. Facing truth exposes the errors in my soul – the hurt, grief, fear, shame, anger, rage and so on which must be felt and released in order for Love to flow in.

From a very young age we are taught to ‘behave’ ourselves, to not feel what is often perceived as negative emotions – hurt, fear, sadness and so on. Often we have been punished (emotionally through ridicule, condemnation, judgement and / or physically through violent ‘correction’) for expressing our real selves.  Boys have too often been bullied into being strong and ‘manly’ as they helplessly learn to be tough, hard and ‘unemotional’. Girls have too often been coaxed into being subservient, passive and compliant. And woe betide anyone who dares to try to break free of these moulds and unloving expectations! And thank God that there have been people throughout history who have had the courage to show us a different way forward.  People like Jesus, Ghandi, Mandela, Mallala, Patch Adams, Steven Jobs, the Suffragettes and many, many more.

In every community, in every corner of the world there are people with the courage to question society’s expectations and push the boundaries of the ‘accepted’. You probably know many in your own local community.  We need more of them.

How different would our world be if from birth children learn that they are God’s child, created perfect in every natural way, and that the soul is the real you?

What if in school we are taught that it is not only OK, but it is encouraged to express the real you; and the means is provided for the safe and loving expression of all emotions – especially emotions of anger, rage, fear and grief.

What sort of society would we live in if children were taught from a very young age that it is not only OK, but it is encouraged, to feel and release their fear and unloving emotions in a loving way which does not harm any other living thing; and that when they do they will feel lighter, happier, more self-confident and loving. They will then soon see that love and laughter are infectious. But in order for children to learn this we need adults to show them the way.

Over the past six years I have slowly been opening my soul to Love and Truth.  This past year, 2015, has been the most confronting year yet as I begin to challenge addictions – physically, emotionally and in relationships.  It has been hard.  I often feel like a fish swimming against the current, but unlike the salmon, I have not yet learnt to jump waterfalls in order to get to the calm safe pool beyond.  Well, maybe baby waterfalls or rapids which lead to shallow rocky pools.  As I slowly gain the courage to challenge addictions and honour my soul above all others I am being shown little cracks in the prison that I have constructed for myself and more light and love begin to trickle in.

My challenge for this year, 2016, is to confront fear and let go of judgement – especially judgement of myself. If I can face the truth about WHY I judge myself and anger so harshly I have a hope of making some progress towards Love.

Judgement of anger is a HUGE emotion for me and I don’t understand it. I have HUGE amounts of resistance to feeling the rage that remains deeply buried within my soul and this rage is keeping me fat and in constant pain.  This has to change. It is time. It is time to let go of false beliefs and finally learn to step into God-reliance and trust that God knows exactly what I need to learn. When I finally learn to see the blocks that I have to trusting that God knows and understands the pain in my soul, and that She wants to nurse me through this pain then, and only then, will I be able to step into God-reliance and move through the painful emotions and errors in my soul.  And when I do learn this, true and permanent healing will begin.  All I have to do is to soften to the pain (without judgement), open to humility and Trust that God loves me and wants to help me through this pain. 

As I learn to pay attention to what the Law of Attraction is telling me, both positive and negative, I will learn to read God’s signs and let go of any pre-conceived notions I may have about what is right and what is loving.

My prayer for 2016 is that I may grow in humility so that I might open my heart and soul more fully to God’s Truth and God’s Love.  This is my prayer not only for me but for each and every one of my brothers and sisters, both here on earth and in the spirit world.

I wish you an enlightening and rewarding year ahead.

Little Glimpses of Joy

Little Glimpses of Joy 

 It seems to me that the past fifteen years or so my life has been in chaos! At times, absolute chaos!!! Everything was difficult. Everything was a challenge. Life seemed to be constantly being propelled from one disaster or emergency to another, and we seemed to always be in the middle of it! Tragic deaths of close family members; serious illnesses of close family members; business disasters that seemed to go from one crises to another.

 For a while life was like a vortex spinning out of control and we just had to be carried along with it. Most of this I had no control over. Except for the business stuff, I had no part in its creation – well, that's what I believed at the time anyway. At times it was difficult to sleep. At times it was difficult to breathe. Most of the time it was difficult to get out of bed and face the day because I was afraid to see what disaster would greet me.  This seems a bit dramatic but if I were to just list the things that were happening in my life simultaneously during this time, no one would believe me. Even the people who watched and supported us through all this could not comprehend how one family could be hit with so many seemingly negative events one after another.

 I now know that this was our Law of Attraction – MY Law of Attraction ramping up to get me to look at the errors in my soul, that part of me that was out of harmony with Love and Truth and God's ultimate plan for me. This is the clearest way that God has of communicating with each of Her children to let us know if we are on track and in harmony with God's Love and Truth or if our life needs some adjusting. My life needed a LOT of adjusting!!!

 I have always had a connection to God – well, for as long as I can remember anyway. God has always been a staple part of my life and I consulted Him regularly, especially when things were not going so well (which was most of the time anyway). And I consulted Him when things were going well too! Any time spent in nature, at the beach or in the rain forest, or simply sitting on our veranda was spent with God.

 Looking back I can see the times when I turned to God in total despair and God revealed my errors to me and in the release of these errors His Love flowed into me. I remember these times clearly now. I just didn't understand what was really happening and how to replicate the reception of God's Love. Or how the reception of His Love could and would change my life for the better.

 Slowly, through trial and error, God showed me the way and my path eventually led me to AJ Miller. AJ claims to be the reincarnation of Jesus of Nazareth and I feel this to be true. The first time I watched his introductory DVD – The Secrets of the Universe, I felt this to be true. In shock and disbelief I watched as he spoke of truths of the universe that had not yet been understood or acknowledged by mankind on earth. Something about this presentation opened a door in my soul – and opened it wide! I became a follower of AJ's teachings and began to apply them in my life.

 As I slowly released errors from my soul, little pieces of the real me became revealed, in all of my injuries and sadness; my anger and rage; my shame and guilt; my fear and terror. Slowly but surely each of these errors has begun to be exposed and with God's Grace and guidance I have been walking a somewhat winding, and at times treacherous path back to God – to my real parent – and to myself!

 It seems to me that in the past fifteen years or so I have not really been living life – I have been existing. Too often I have been existing for the approval of others in the hope that I might gain their love, something that I desperately craved. And in the process I have been selling off little pieces of my soul. I too often forgot that God's Love was all that I needed to sustain me (Matthew 6 25-30), too often I still forget this truth! But as my soul has slowly been opening up to God's Truth and Love over the past four and a half years and little pieces of my soul have been restored. Bit by bit, one tiny piece at a time, my pristine soul is slowly being revealed and joy is beginning to return. It feels like it has been a long time since joy has been the driving factor in my life. In fact I could honestly say that this is the first time in my life that I am consciously aware that joy is more and more becoming the driving factor in my life; that passion and desire rather than approval is what motivates me in the decisions and choices that I now make.

 And it feels GREAT!!!!!

 It has been a long time since I looked forward to each new day with energy and excitement. And it has been a long time since I have been driven by a passion for life and love and all that I have to offer.

 And it feels GREAT!!!!

 So what has caused this seemingly sudden change you might ask?

 Well, for one thing, it has by no means been sudden! It has taken a commitment to honouring God's Love and Truth, as best I can, on a day to day basis; and a desire to grow in true humility to help me get here. It has required a willingness to fully feel all of my emotions as they arise and a willingness to feel God's Truth about the errors in my soul. Even now I am still too often resistant to God's Truth and Love. At times I still turn a blind eye to the messages that God is trying to tell me. Mostly because, for me anyway, letting go of 'control' and allowing God to direct my life still feels too scary!

 But, gradually I am learning to NOT let fear dictate my life. I am learning to acknowledge the fear, ask God for the truth and follow my heart. I am learning that no matter what decisions I may make – loving or otherwise, God always has my back – She will always be there with me every step of the way. I am learning to let go of the negative voices in my head – the ones that tell me that I can't do something that I really want to do; the ones that tell me not to trust myself; the ones that tell me not to trust God, that God doesn't care about me, that I am nobody and I should never aspire to be somebody!

 Slowly, ever so slowly, I am learning that God DOES Love ME!!! And that God wants nothing more than for me to recognize my true potential and engage my unique talents and passions and in so doing bring another piece of the puzzle to God's universe. More and more joy and passion occupy my days. I get increasingly engrossed in projects and time just disappears. I am finally doing what I love most of the time, on most days of the week. There are still many addictions for me to work through but the path is becoming wider and clearer as more light is being let in. And joy is becoming an increasingly prominent part of each day.

 And it feels GREAT!!!!

Lessons in Humility - part 3

This past month has been particularly challenging for me - lots of emotions have been wanting to surface and I have not been very humble with this process.  Far too often I have not allowed the full expression of the emotions and have probably been wasting a lot of time - this is not humility.  Today I realized that I have been allowing myself to be a slave to my fear and this is where I now need to start - but that's another post.  Here is the long awaited third part to lessons in humility.  Hopefully it will not be so long before part four gets posted.

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Humility Session 3 – Humility in Practice 

1.     Humility is the doorway to Truth.  The truths that we do not accept are the most difficult to work through.

The past month has seen me skirt around this truth and therefore I have not been very humble.  I have been avoiding God’s Truth on many issues and pretending to be better than I really am.  As I write this now I feel a sense of shame creeping in.  I am a fraud!  But while I have been avoiding many truths in the past month I have to be careful that I do not revert to the old pattern of blaming or belittling myself.  I need to remind myself, yet again, that there is nothing that I can do that God cannot forgive and I need to have some compassion for myself – something that I am still learning to do.

2.     Humility is a willingness to be overwhelmed by your own emotions and by God.  It is an openness to God’s Truth and Love.  It begins with opening your heart to yourself first and then opening your heart to God’s emotions – allowing yourself to become overwhelmed.

The thing I struggle with most here is opening my heart to myself – having compassion for my injured self and not berating myself when I do not get it ‘right’!  There have been times when I have been able to do this and as a result I have been able to connect to God’s emotions and allow the overwhelm to embrace me.  There are still far too many times when I resist humility, mostly out of fear of judgement and/or ridicule.  I am holding onto this emotion rather than allowing it to be released.  Why?

3.     Humility is self-awareness.  It is not a false sense of being lower than others and it is a willingness to see yourself as you really are – as God sees you. Humility accepts that God knows everything and is willing to discover what God knows.

As I go through these points that I have noted from this discussion I realize that I have a very long way to go before I become truly humble. The truth is that far too much of the time I do feel that I am less that others – I am not worthy of God’s Love and in this state God connot connect to me because I am not being in truth.  If I was being truly humble I would allow these feelings of unworthiness to bubble forth out of my soul and allow God’s Truth to enter – that I am the greatest of Her Creation and the most wonderful of Her handiworks and the object of Her great Love and tender care. But I would still rather hold onto the false belief that I am less than and as long as I hold onto that I can never become truly humble.  If I am willing to see myself as God truly sees me I would accept that I am powerful beyond measure and capable of greatness – we all are.  But I still fight what God wants me to see and feel.  I am not very humble at all and my willingness to discover what God knows is still very tentative and uncertain.  Actually a better word would be resistive. And resistance indicates a lack of humility.

4.     There is a HUGE emotion of condemnation of being wrong on the planet and condemnation of another is a lack of humility.  Humility does not impose its own emotions onto others; it understands (and has compassion).

This is a big emotion for me – fear of being wrong. And so far I have not been willing to really challenge this emotion – if I had been it would not hold such power over me as it does.  Consequently, I occasionally find myself judging others but much more often, judging myself.  And this is not humility either – it is fear!

5.     You need to consciously desire to connect to your own soul and desire wholeheartedly to experience all emotions all the time.

While I feel that I do consciously desire to connect to my own soul I do not desire wholeheartedly to experience all my emotions as they arise.  If I did I would not be so resistive to God’s truth and I would not honour fear.  The question then is – how do I cultivate this desire to wholeheartedly feel all of my emotions as they arise?  I feel that faith and prayer are the answers here as well as consciously activating my own will in this regard.

6.     Humility is a willingness to take responsibility for my own error without reservation.  Only I can feel my pain no matter how it got in me.  Humility is a choice to grow in love.

I feel that this is one area of humility that I am OK at.  I accept that only I can feel my own pain and I have come to learn that it is the choices that I have made over my lifetime that have enhanced the errors.  I have always had free will but I have not always used that will in a loving way.  The movie “August Rush” really helped me to understand this.

7.     Emotions that influence Humility – fear of humiliation – investment in the opinions of others – needing nice feelings from others.  Deal with these emotions first.

Fear of humiliation – check; investment in the opinions of others – check; needing nice feelings from others – check!  Crap!!!  Fear of humiliation is a big one for me – all those school assemblies being hauled out in front of the whole school and being ridiculed because I ‘did something wrong’!  What was that all about and how could it possibly instil more loving behaviour in others?  Consequently this emotion piggybacks into the others – if others think I am OK I’ll avoid humiliation and they’ll like me.  This has been my whole life – seeking the approval of others, avoiding humiliation and in the process I have lost sight of my real self which makes it much more difficult now to reconnect with the me that God created because the façade self has become so powerful.  And I now have to wade through this mountain of façade in order to become truly humble.  Fortunately God is patient and compassionate – something I am slowly learning to be with myself.

8.     The Law of Attraction shows the way – pay attention and choose to act.

While I am getting better at noticing what the Law of Attraction is showing me I am still very slow in recognizing it.  It is often not until several minutes (on a good day), hours or even days before I recognize what God was trying to show me.   But I am learning to reflect more and trying not to berate myself for being slow and I find that when the penny does drop I am allowing the connection to the truth much more easily – so that’s progress I guess!

9.     Humility is seeing yourself as you really are and be willing to take responsibility for that.  It is a willingness to feel your own damage and a willingness to be your real self in public.  True humility is not involved in lying, deceit or façade.

I can see how I have grown in this area and find that I am becoming much more real with myself and God most of the time (not all the time though). It is becoming easier to be my real self in public although there are still a few people who I guard my real self from. And it is becoming easier to be truthful with most people but I do still occasionally catch myself avoiding truth and if I can I attempt to correct that.

10.  You need to look at the fears below the addiction.  Step 1 – identify the addiction and reflect; Step 2 - identify the fears below the addiction; Step 3 – embrace the steps for discovering the truth.

Facing fear is something I have a LOT of trouble with which makes this process difficult for me to engage. Consequently I do not always identify the addiction – mostly I want to hold onto the addiction because it feels familiar and comfortable, even rewarding.  But fear is the biggest cause of disharmony on this planet and if I am to have any hope of helping this earth to become a more loving place then I need to confront my fears.  I am getting better at this – with some fears.  Time to challenge ALL fears.

11.   Humility means working with the resources in your own location to create abundance.

So I guess this means becoming truly God-reliant.   Allowing God to show me what gifts He has provided for us in my local area and how these gifts can be used for the benefit of all.  I am a long way from stepping into this at the moment – I have so many fears still of making a fatal mistake.

12.  How do I contribute to the oppression of poorer peoples or nations?

If I am being totally honest here I would have to admit that by pandering to my fears of lack of abundance and therefore creating much more waste than is necessary I am contributing to the oppression of the poor. This is a fear that I am still unwilling to face/challenge.  Why is this?  What am I afraid of? Purchasing goods that are cheap but not ethical also contributes to the oppression of others and I have been guilty of this also – fear of lack – again.  I really need to look at this.

13.  God helps us constantly through the Law of Attraction, other people, animals (reflect our soul condition) and all creation (reflect our collective soul condition).  When we are willing to be truthfully taught by God we will have no emotional resistance and an openness to emotional communication with God and others. 

As I am going over these notes I realize just how far I have to go to becoming truly humble.  Far too often I disregard, ignore of just miss what the LoA is telling me and I am still unwilling to feel what our domestic pets are telling me and I have a tendency to blame everyone else for unfavourable weather conditions – its not my fault – its everyone else who needs to get their act together – what arrogance!!! CRAP!  I still have so much to learn about humility!

14.  My actions are a reflection of my true soul condition and demonstrate where I am out of harmony with Love and Truth.  If I am truly living in my damaged self (as opposed to my façade self) I will see where and why I am not humble AND be willing to address the reasons why.  I will work through the blocks that I have to truth.

I guess if I am being truly honest I would have to admit that at least half of the time my actions are out of harmony with truth and love and are based upon addiction – probably more than this.  But I do strive to live in my damaged self and be real with everyone around me no matter how challenging that might be – I am not always successful but can usually see upon reflection how I have failed in this area and can then pray about this.  Lately I have been really struggling with working through my blocks to humility and am realizing that it is because I have not been truthful with myself with what is really going on.  I had a big realization about this today and as a result I was able to connect with my guides and gain some truth that I am still to work fully through – but it is a start.  What I have found is that God ALWAYS helps me when I am in truth – if I feel that God is not helping me than I have only to look at myself and the resistance I have to truth and sincerely pray about that – God always comes through for me.

15.  Humility is putting into practice what you have learnt.

So – how do I do this? Do I do this? Challenging my fears more consistently.  Learning to step into God-reliance. Being truthful with myself and others as much as possible and correcting my mistakes when I recognize them. Learning to put my relationship with God above all other relationships and feeling the fear that that brings up, especially when I put God and myself before family.

16.  Humility is being totally open to guides.  It is developing a longing for feedback from more loving people and it embraces truth.  Am I willing to be refined by God?

The thing I have the most difficulty with here is connecting with my guides and I am beginning to see that when I am out of harmony with love and truth I block their connection and when I am truthful with myself and God the connection is easier and clearer so this is a big indication of my level of humility (or lack of it).  I do have a strong desire for truth and truthful feedback and am willing to embrace truth as I have found it the fastest way to grow through the pain and errors.  Intellectually I feel that I am willing to be refined by God but my resistance to truth at times tells me otherwise – this is a work in progress.

17.  Am I willing to stand for truth and love no matter what the circumstances – even if it means that I risk losing everything?

Honestly, I would have to say – not quite yet.  I have a lot of fear to work through to get to this point but it is only in challenging the fear that I will get there.  What is stopping me? Fear?  Then it becomes a vicious cycle doesn’t it?  I am learning that fear is the biggest impediment that I have to true humility and fear prevents me from trusting God – I am making fear my god and that has to stop.  Courage and faith will lead me to Humility and prayer will lead me to courage and faith.  Please God, help me to overcome all the resistance that I have to true humility.  Teach me to love.

The Power of Love and Truth

The Power of Love and Truth

It has been some time since I posted anything here and I guess that I could easily come up with a dozen different excuses, but the truth is that I have been feeling into some fear around these postings especially now that I am aware that some of my family members occasionally follow my posts.  Funny isn’t it how easy it is to share your innermost thoughts and feelings when you feel you are under the veil of secrecy and how much more difficult that becomes when you feel ‘exposed’! 

So here I am stepping fully into the light and allowing the Law of Attraction to show me what I still need to learn and to feel.  So, over the coming weeks I will be posting much more honestly about my experiences over the past few months and allowing myself to feel whatever fear/grief/anger/shame might arise as a result of stepping more fully into truth.

I have recently returned from an amazing week at Uralla, just south of Armidale where I stayed with my beautiful friend Carina. I am noticing how much easier my life flows when I allow myself to follow my passions and desires.  I have had an interest (maybe even a passion) around Raw Food for some time but have not been allowing myself to fully engage in that.  There is always an excuse – it’s too fiddly, you have to think ahead, unsure of the menus and flavors – the list could go on but the truth is that I was avoiding a desire out of a feeling of unworthiness and a lack of self love.  Anyway, when I heard that Susan was running a Raw Food day at Kyabra I decide to attend, packed my bags and headed south for a week.  I have also had a desire to learn more about mediumship and to seek some guidance around developing my mediumship ability so I stayed for the mediumship discussion on the following Thursday.

A lot happened in this week – the weather was perfect – the Raw Food day was totally inspiring – I explored the area and discovered some beautiful spots around the area where I could be close to God – I caught up with some beautiful friends and met some amazing people – I learnt a bit about mediumship and about myself and I learnt more about the power of love and truth and this is what I really want to share with you.

On Wednesday night I had dinner with Dave and Alexis at their place and it was lovely to get to know them both a little better.  In the course of conversation after dinner Dave channeled his aunt who said that I had a group of dark spirits with me waiting for the opportunity to attack.  I felt into the truth of that and felt that my sister was with them.  Both Dave and Alexis are very strong mediums and they confirmed this for me.  Kathy has been in spirit for just about four years and I had felt that she was in quite a dark condition.  What transpired over the course of the next two to three hours was truly amazing. 

Alexis channeled the spirits and Dave spoke to them while I felt into what was happening and prayed for Divine Love.  It took a while but eventually a group of these spirits went with their celestial guides but my sister remained, angry, confused and adamant that the Catholic way was the only way.  At some point the roles change with Dave channeling Kathy and Alexis talking to her while I continued to try to feel what was going on and praying for Divine Love. 

Both of the boys could feel the pain in her body and her fear and confusion, I gave a brief outline of her medical history and of the cancer she suffered when she was thirteen years old.  She confirmed that she has been feeling this fear in her gut since she was a girl and she spoke a little about her experiences during the chemo and radium therapy and the ongoing effects of that.  What struck me about this whole process was how compassionate and patient both Dave and Alexis were and how much love I felt in the room. For the first time I began to understand what she had been through, not just when she was thirteen but over the many near death experiences that she endured throughout her life (six in all).  Alexis was very gentle in the way he introduced the Truth to Kathy and eventually she began to open up to the Truth, not only of what had happened to her but of what she was now doing to me by trying to control me and ‘correct’ my behaviour.  As she allowed herself to feel even a little Alexis could then point out that things had changed, she could see and feel the difference in her spirit body, but she was still very afraid and quite angry.  Eventually a shift occurred, maybe it was the love she began to feel from me, maybe it was the love and compassion she could feel from the boys, maybe she had received a little of God’s Love in this process, maybe it was a combination of all of this, but eventually she surrendered to the Truth quite deeply and I could now feel a big shift had taken place.  She was now ready to see our grandfather who had been present the whole time.  Pa has been in spirit for around fifty years and is now a beautiful Celestial spirit and one of my guides and Kathy was totally taken back by how bright and beautiful he is.  I know that she will be alright now. Pa has walked the journey that she will need to walk, he has let go of the false beliefs that he held onto dearly for such a long time and he understands her struggles.

Even as I write this I can feel the love that was present then and how deeply it affected not only Kathy but me as well and I am very grateful to God for the way His Laws are constructed to ensure that each and every one of His children has the opportunity to learn the Truth and to feel His Love.  This experience showed me how powerful it is when we allow ourselves to surrender fully to the Truth and allow Love in.

Thank you Dave and Alexis, I will always be grateful for the gift that you gave so freely and thank you Kathy for teaching me the power of Love and Truth and Surrender.  May God continue to bless and support you all on your journeys towards Love and Truth.

With much love

Linda

20.03.12