Open My Heart and Soul I Pray

This is a poem that I wrote a little while ago but as I re-read it now I realize that it is just as relevant now as I struggle to face the truth of the errors in my soul which prevent God's Love from entering me. I hope it helps.
love
Linda

Open my heart and soul I pray

Feeling angry, feeling sad

Feeling as though my whole life

I have been bad

Feeling lonely, feeling confused

Hating feeling that through my life

I have been abused

Feeling lost, feeling afraid

Not wanting to visit these places

Where my darkest secrets have been laid

Longing for guidance, longing for love

Will anyone answer my call

From Heaven above?

Pain in my body showing me truth

Resisting the messages of love

Preferring to remain aloof

Will I ever learn to let go and trust

That God’s ways are perfect

And surrender I must?

Open my heart and soul I pray

Help me face those hidden truths

That rack my soul

And keep Your Love at bay.

Open my heart and soul I pray

Give me courage to face the truth

Open my heart and my soul I pray

Teach me to surrender to Your way

Linda Munster

25.03.11

God’s voice calls me

This was written a little while ago but is just as relevant for me today as it was then.  Not one of my best peoms technically but still very powerful for me.  I am as grateful as always for the assistanc I receive when writing. I hope this is of some use to you as well.

God’s voice calls me

God’s voice calls softly to me

Gently encouraging me to feel the truth

To see the walls that I have built

So carefully around my heart

God’s voice calls gently to me

Reminding me that He is there

Reminding me that only I am trapped

Behind the wall around my heart

Tenderly He guides me

Patiently He waits

As I stumble and fumble

To find my way

But I feel afraid and alone

Not wanting to face the truth

That I alone constructed this wall

When I refused to let love in

I alone made the decision

That love was too painful

And to be avoided at all costs

I alone shut love out.

It is not that I am unlovable

Rather that I don’t want to be loved

For in my limited experiences

“Love” means pain

And so to avoid the pain that love brings

I built a wall to keep love out

To keep my heart safe

From the lies and abuse that imperfect love brings

But now behind my wall I hide

Alone and afraid and wondering why

Why does no one love me?

What have I done wrong?

Then God’s voice gently calls me

Supporting me to see the truth

That the child She created

Is beautiful and deserving of love

If only she would tear the wall down

And let in love

For she alone creates her pain

She alone blocks love out.

Open my heart and soul I pray

That my soul may learn to love one day

Open my heart and soul I pray

That Your Love may transform my pain.

Give me courage, give me strength

Teach me to love again.

Linda Munster

13.04.11

Wake Up and Dawn Gently Breaking

The end of the year is fast approaching closely followed by the dawning of the new year with all of its potential challenges, triumphs, joys and friendships. 

This morning I was reflecting a bit on this past year and the coming year and I came across these poems that I had written back in June.  I thought it would be appropriate to share them here.  They came to me following an early morning process, one of those rare times when I allow my soul to respond without resistance to a sleep state/dream state trigger no matter what the time of day or night. 

This is the gift that God gives me when I allow Love to prevail in my life.

Wake Up

Wake up, wake up

The day softly calls

New adventures to be had

Old memories to recall

God’s Love to discover

As He reshapes my soul.

Wake up, wake up

Come out and see

As God calls softly to me

To experience His Majesty

To soak in the warmth

Of His Divine Love

Flowing into my heart

from Heaven above

Dawn gently breaking

A soft glow is growing

As the darkness in my soul

With God’s Love is transforming

Into a gently glowing light for all the world to see

The power that God’s Love

Has over me

Reshaping my soul and making me whole

Slowly the light grows

As the sun peaks over the horizon

Slowly the day brightens and suddenly I see

That God transforms my soul

Just as He does each new day

Softly, slowly, gently

So as not to alarm

But rather to warm and to calm

Wake up, wake up

The day softly calls

New adventures to be had

Old memories to recall

God’s Love to discover

As He reshapes my soul.

03.06.11

Dawn gently breaking

Dawn gently breaking

A soft glow is growing

As the darkness of night

Gives way to a new day awakening.

The twinkling lights of the city

Fade in the distance

As the warm glowing sky

Offers no resistance

To the newness of the day

Beckoning me forth to go out and play

A kookaburra calls gladly

His laughter is catching

‘come play with me’ he calls

A chorus of song responding

As God’s creatures let me know

That a new day is beckoning

The warmth of the sunshine

Washers over a new day

Beckoning me to come out and play

To uncover the secrets of this unique day

And join in the chorus of praise

For all of God’s abundant gifts

A day full of promise and hope

Full of laughter and tears

Full of surprises and fears

As I allow God’s Love

To wash away my resistance

And to reveal the real me that She created.

Dawn gently breaking

A soft glow is growing

As the darkness of night

Gives way to a new day awakening

03.06.11

Where are You Father?

It has been a few weeks since I posted anything new, this is mostly because I have been resisting a lot of emotions and struggling with fear. I had lost sight of God as the central focus in my life and I paid dearly for this. I continued to pray to God for guidance and for the courage and the willingness to face the truth. Today my prayers were answered and I share now with you the struggles that I have been facing. It took several hours to write this letter to God as I worked my way through the emotins that came up while writing, finally, after a couple of hours a picture emerged and I was able to gain some clarity around the emotion. I hope this is of some benefit to you.

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06.07.11

Where are You Father? Are You here? Lately I have been struggling to feel Your presence in my life and I do not understand why I have shut You out so! Father, I know form experience that my life flows much more smoothly when You remain at the centre of my thoughts, so why have I abandoned You? Why have I allowed myself to get so caught up in day to day events? Because of this I now find myself struggling with many aspects of my life and I don’t understand it! What causes me to turn away from You? How can I open my soul to the truth of these emotions Father so that I may release these errors that me from connecting more fully with You?

I pray often Father, but my prayers go unheard and unanswered – why? What is the error in my soul that needs to be released right now in order for me to allow Your love back into my life? How can I do this Father? Dare I ask who will help me? Or perhaps You want me to know that only I can reach into the dark recesses of my soul to release the pain hidden there. But I have tried Father, I have tried and it seems that I am weak and cowardly and don’t yet want to go there fully. Can You please help me to have the courage and the willingness to face this truth which is preventing me from having a deeper connection with You? Please!

I seem to be so overrun with doubt and fear at the moment Father and I am struggling to understand why this is so. It is difficult what You ask of me Father, to be in this world but not of this world, it is difficult to be truly open and humble in the midst of people who are so driven by fear and avoidance and I recognize myself in them Father. I recognize my own cowardice and avoidance and I feel such deep shame at this for I know it means that I do not yet trust You fully! Please help me to overcome this fear that I have, lift this burden of shame form my soul so that I may come to know You more fully, so that I may have the courage to serve You more completely, so that I may learn to be a beacon of light and love and hope in a world filled with darkness, fear and confusion.

I still struggle to understand why me Father! Why is it that I am amongst the few who are as yet open to learning Your truths and have the privilege of learning directly from Yeshua and Mary? How is that possible Father when I feel so small and insignificant, so incomplete and broken! What could I possibly have to offer that someone else doesn’t already have? What is special about me? How can I best serve You Father as well as my brothers and sisters? What is the gift that You have given me that will enable me to serve You most completely? Can You please help me to overcome the blocks that I have to uncovering this gift, the fear of ridicule and rejection that is still so deeply imbedded in my soul?

Why do I feel so helpless and useless Father? Will I ever find the courage to face the truth of this injury in my soul? Only You can help me Father, only You! Please help me to find the courage and the willingness to face the darkness in my soul and to step out from the shadows and into the glory of Your Light and Love! It feels safe here in my darkness. Here in the shadows I can pretend that everything is alright, I can pretend that I am not broken lying discarded on a pile of rocks, numb to my pain and discomfort. But if I step into the light Father I will have to face the truth of my injured self, I will have to see myself as I really am, as You seem me and that feels terrifying! But I am beginning to recognize these rocks that I am laying on Father and they are uncomfortable, at times painful and I realize that my only chance of freedom is to find the courage to step into the light and face the truth of my bruised and battered soul.

Will You hold my hand Father as I step gingerly into the light? Will You help me find the courage to face the truth and release my fear, my pain, my shame? Do I have the courage to face the ugliness, the distortions and KNOW that You love me anyway, that You know who I truly am and that that child is perfect? Can I allow myself to feel the truth in this, to KNOW that You created me to be a unique and beautiful soul full of potential and passion? Dare I hope that this is True? This seems so unlikely Father, so far removed from my experiences that it is difficult to grasp – that You see my errors, my distortions, my ugliness and You love me anyway because You see beyond my wounds to the perfect child that You created, to the boundless potential that You inspired in my soul! To me this is as yet incomprehensible and yet somewhere deep within my soul something is stirring, an inkling that perhaps this IS the truth, that You created me a perfect, unblemished child full of passion and potential. An inkling is stirring in my soul Mother, a longing to know the truth of who You created me to be, to know who I am. Who am I? Who am I? Who is this child who was created perfect in natural love and how did she become the broken, confused and frightened child she is now? How can I free my soul of these chains that bind and restrict me? How can I learn to love, to let my spirit soar? How can I uncover my passions and live up to my potential?

Only You can help me Father, only You can break apart these chains that bind me and free my soul of its errors. Help me to have the courage to step out of the darkness and into the light of Your Love!

Linda
06.07.11

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Then this followed

How can I thank You for Your love

How can I thank You for Your love
Your patience
Your kindness
Your mercy?
What do I have to offer that could possibly express to You
My gratitude, my deep appreciation for all that You have given me?

You patiently watch over me and wait for me to understand
To realize that it is I who hold the key to my own salvation,
That You are always there waiting for me to recognize my errors,
My weaknesses and to surrender to the grief and pain
That has gripped my soul for so many years,
Holding tight, binding me, restricting me,
Preventing me from becoming all that You intended me to be.

Bit by bit I can feel the chains break away.
Bit by bit my soul regains its freedom.
A freedom lost in childhood, clouded over by fear and pain,
Muddied by doubt and confusion.
But as I allow myself to surrender to this pain
As I find the courage to face the fears and doubts
Your love begins to wash me clean
Revealing a hidden beauty full of passion and potential.
How can I thank You for Your Love,
Your patience,
Your kindness,
Your mercy?

I give to You all that I am in this moment,
Still broken, still unsure but beginning to understand,
Learning to love and to trust.
I give to You all that I may become,
My hopes and dreams of one day becoming whole again
Of one day seeing You face to face
Whole, restored to the perfect child that You created me to be
And even greater than that knowing that Your Love fills my soul
And overflows to all that I encounter.

I give You all that I am and all that I am ever capable of becoming
For it is Your Love that sets me free
Your Love that reveals the hidden me.
Thank You for Your Love,
Your patience,
Your kindness,
Your mercy.
Thank You for loving Me!

Linda
06.07.11

Gratitude, stillness, love and trust

Lately I have been struggling with some big emotions and I find myself at times running away from the emotions that are surfacing, often making excuses why this is not a good time to feel whatever wants to be freed from my soul. I pray constantly for the courage and willingness to face these emotions, to be truly humble, to have the courage to live a life that is free, joyful, loving and trusting. But I am still struggling with this, still struggling with trusting God at times. Then I read something or I speak with someone and I am reminded of my progress since being on this path and gratitude floods my soul. Grattitude is such a gift! It helps me to remain humble. It reminds me that I am one of God's children, the greatest of His creations and the most wonderful of His habdiworks, and I am swamped with love. I have so much to be thankful for.

Linda


Dear God,

Today I am feeling very grateful for all of Your blessings in my life. I am particularly grateful for my beautiful soulmate and his love and support of me while I am on this journey. Father, there is such a longing in my soul for Your Love and Truth and I realize that there is so much that I still have to learn about myself and about Your Truths and Your Divine Love. Help me to have the courage to live consistently in Love, Truth and Humility no mater where I am or who I am with.

I thank You for Your Love and the privilege of receiving it. I thank You for Your guidance and support yesterday when I was with some friends who are not on the Divine Love Path and for the courage to be humble and vulnerable as I shared part of my journey. But Father, I recognize that there is still a lot of fear in me that is preventing me from being truly open and humble at all times and because of this I am still very cautions about speaking Your truth. I want to change that Father and I am asking for Your help to do that. Please allow me to have the courage and the willingness to work through the errors in my soul that prevent me from surrendering to You completely. Please help me to work through the errors that prevent me from surrendering to my true soul desires and that keep me doubting Your plans for me.
Teach me to love and to trust completely that Your way IS perfect.

I thank You for Your beautiful Divine Love and the gifts that You have given to me, for the spirit guides you send to help me work through different aspects of myself. It is my desire that I will grow to know and trust fully each one of my guides just as they know and love me.

Father, thank You also for Yeshua and Mary and the others of the fourteen who have returned and for the privilege of being able to get to know some of them personally. I pray that You will continue to guide and support them on their journey of discovery of their true selves. I still feel so unworthy and yet so very grateful to be walking this path at this time with my beautiful brothers and sisters and for their generosity, love and support, particularly to those who open their homes so freely.

Thank You Father for all that You are and for all that You have done for us and for all of the gifts You have given to me. Help me to use these gifts in the best possible way so that I may be of service to others. I feel truly blessed. Thank You.

Linda

22.02.11

And then this came through at a time when my soul was in a bit of confusion, adding clarity to my struggles.

Be Still My Child


Be still my child and learn to feel
As the Father’s Love sets you free

Be still my child and learn to trust
God’s Love is filling your soul awash

Be still my child and learn to listen
To God’s Truth and to God’s Wisdom

Be still my child and learn to feel
As the power of God’s love
Your soul does heal.


Linda Munster
16.03.11

God's Love is Waiting

This past week has been difficult for me as I settle back into 'normal' life after a beautiful week away. I have been finding it difficult to connect to the deeper, more painful emotions, but on Monday I was able to allow myself to feel deeply into my pain and grief. It was a difficult processing to go through but for over three and a half hours I worked my way through fear, anger, shame, grief as the emotions seemed to cycle through many different paths. I find it challenging and often confusing - always confronting and I am very grateful for the Paryer for Divine Love that Jesus gave to James Padgett (see the Divine Truth web site ) and which I constantly repeat (in part or whole) as I work my way through the errors in my soul. One part of the prayer that I am particularly grateful for is the following - a part that I often reflect upon, especially when I am feeling very overwhelmed, this reflection was written on the fifteenth Feb 2011 but has also been very relevant this past week. I hope it helps.

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“Let us never cease to realize that Your Love is waiting for each and all of us and that when we come to You in Faith and earnest aspiration Your Love will never be withheld from us….”

When I am stuck in my pain and confusion I often forget that God’s love is waiting for me and that all I have to do is to ask! This I feel is a self-punishment action and I am working on letting this go and on opening up my soul fully to God’s Love and Grace in my life.

I find that I am often questioning God about how earnest I need to be in order for this error to be lifted from my soul? Usually I am reminded that the extent of the grief that I am feeling is relative to the pain that I have experienced and that I have held onto as a result of this emotion and that in order to ‘let it go’ I need to experience it fully. Sometimes this means crying for several hours or days over weeks or even months.

I often find myself questioning my faith – asking myself “am I good enough?” This too is a self-punishing emotion and once this awareness surfaces I can usually surrender then to God’s Love as I pray for forgiveness of my doubt and for the courage to feel the grief of my unworthiness fully.

Linda Munster
15.02.11

One of the hardest emotions I am finding to work through is shame and I am noticing that as I work my way through some very painful emotions shame is surfacing more and more. this poem came to me as I worked my way through some shame based emotions.

Shame

Anger coursing through my veins
Controlling my every thought and deed
Sometimes bubbling into rage
More often disguised as being peeved
It is a relief to express this part of me
To express my anger and set my soul free

Shame washing over me
Heat rising within the very core of my being
Nowhere to hide
It is all consuming
Shame
Heat,
Melting

Shame permeating the very core of my being
Shaping who I become
God’s Laws showing me
The emotions I need to overcome
Shame buried deep within me
Blocking my road to freedom

Repentance creeping into my soul
Acknowledging my anger, my shame
Praying that God will forgive
The deepest, darkest parts of my pain
Praying for forgives
Feeling unworthy of God’s Divine Love

Forgiveness washing over me
Letting me know that I am loved
Forgiveness washing over me
The Father’s Blessings from above
Feeling small and broken
Until the Father’s Love lets me know
That I am wanted. I am Loved.


Linda Munster
16.03.11

Gratitude

We have just returned from a week at Airlie Beach in North Queensland where the weather was warm and the sea clear and where, for a week, my soul sang for joy. It was a magical week that rekindled the love in our relationship and allowed our bodies and souls to rest and recharge and it highlighted a deep appreciation for all that God has given to us. It also brought up many emotions for me which I have yet to work through, but right now I want to express my gratitude to God for all of His wonderful gifts.

Dear God,

Your Love surrounds me in every moment of my life. Waiting for me to acknowledge Your presence and invite Your Love into my soul. But I often find myself caught in the earthly trap of doubt and fear. Then, somewhere from within my soul a chord is struck, an awakening begins and I am reminded of Your Great Love which is waiting for me and for each and all of us. Waiting for us to simply ask You for Your Love and Blessings in our lives, stirring my soul to recognize Your presence in my daily life.

I want to let You now that I am very grateful for Your Love and for Your guidance in my life. For the beautiful teachers You have sent me. I know that for the most part I appear to be stuck in my doubt and pain (and I am) but then, when I have the courage to surrender to Your Will, I uncover a side of me that I had forgotten existed, that I had buried, and I am always very, very grateful for Your patience, understanding and most of all for Your Love.

Forgive me for my human frailties and confusion. Help me to continue to open my soul more and more fully unto You. Please, give me the courage and willingness to face each and every dark corner within my soul so that Your Love can heal and cleanse me, so that I may have the courage to step fully into my soul’s true and deepest desires and in so doing be of service to You and to all of my brothers and sisters both here on earth and in the spirit world.

Teach me to love.

Linda
15.02.11


Gratitude

How can I express to You
The gratitude that I feel
For Your constant Love and support …
Before You I kneel

How can I express to You
My deep gratitude
For staying with me
In my hour of need
For making my soul new?

How can I express to You
The love that I feel?
My heart is overflowing
And it is all because of You

You wait patiently for me
To have the courage to feel
You sing joyfully
When I surrender to Your will

You watch over me
You guide me
Waiting patiently for me to understand
That there is no greater Love
Ever bestowed upon man

How can I express to You
The gratitude that I feel?
What do I have to give You
That would ever begin to express
My thankfulness and love
For Your unending kindness?

I have only myself to offer
A sad and wilting flower
But I know that with Your love
My soul has endless power

I give You all that I am
All that I might become
For You alone
Are my source of joy, of love
My source of eternal blossom.


Linda Munster
10.03.11

Working through Unworthiness - Cracks in my armour

At the moment I am still struggling with huge unworthiness based emotions and feeling unlovable. This is proving to be a very difficult emotion for me to work through and as I reflect back on some of my past journal entries and letters to God I find that it has been a recurring emotion for me. I struggle with this. Am I just not getting it? Am I wasteing my time even trying to work my way through this group of emotions? It seems that for me this emotion has many facets as each time I begin to work through it I find different pieces of the puzzle are revealed. It is a slow process and I am learning to trust that God knows what my soul is capable of dealing with at any one time but I am still very impatient. This letter to God was written at a particularly difficult time and as I reflect back on it now I realize that God is listening and that things have shifted.

Dear God,

Why won’t You help me? My body hurts and I can’t do anything without being in pain afterwards! I don’t deserve to be in all of this pain God! It even hurts to eat, or to walk, or to talk and I don’t understand why? Why is this so God? Don’t You love me? How can I learn to love myself if I don’t know what love really means? If I only know what pain and rejection is, how can I learn to love? Who will teach me? I don’t deserve to be in pain all of the time God! You said You would help me but You are a liar!!! You just want me to suffer! You don’t love me and You never have and You never will because I am unlovable! A despicable mistake that should never have happened! You are NOT a loving and kind God, You are MEAN!!! And You delight in my suffering. I HATE YOU!!! You never wanted me and have been punishing me my whole life because I am a constant disappointment to You. But I am a real person and I deserve Your respect if not Your love.

I deserve to be loved!

I deserve to be loved!

I AM Lovable. I am lovable!!!!

Why don’t You want to love me God? I feel like a faceless monster, I feel like I am nothing! I feel worthless!!!

Am I worthless God?

Am I nothing?

Is this all a bad dream? Will I ever feel truly lovable – truly loved? Will I ever feel worthy to know that I do have something to offer?

Linda
01.02.11

This letter to God took me into some very deep processing through fear, grief and shame for about three hours. Feelings of deep unworthiness and self-punishment kept tumbling over my soul as I prayed for guidance and faith. Deep remorse also washed over me as I realize how much harm these emotions in me have caused to our children and others. There is a sense in me that I will never get through this, that the unworthiness in me is so great that I will never be free of it and I don’t understand it. The other day I watched the movie "The Secret Life of Bees" with Queen Latifa and Dakota Fanning and this triggered again in me these deep unworthiness feelings I have around being unlovable. There is so much still to work through.

This next letter to God is just another attempt to continue working through these unworthiness based emotions.

Dear God,

How do I let go of fear and hatred and mistrust? How do I open my soul to love when I don’t really know what love is? When my only experience of love has been one that has been marred by conditions and control – even my soulmate love! How do I begin to trust You when I can’t even feel You? It all feels hopeless. It feels as if nothing will ever change and I will be held in this self-imposed prison for the rest of eternity.

I feel alone God. Isolated, alone, weary, doubtful and unworthy of Your love or of anyone else’s love! How do I change this Father? What do I need to do, to feel in order to feel worthy of Your love? Of John’s love? Please help me to feel as if I deserve to be loved! Please Father, Please help me! Please!

Linda
08.02

And this from my journal after the above letter triggered some huge emotions for me.

Right now I am feeling drained and somewhat defeated. For the past five and a half hours I have been working through the very deeply ingrained sense of unworthiness that is within my soul, feeling my way through hatred, mistrust, control, conditional love, hopelessness and ‘why won’t he listen to me? Why doesn’t anyone believe me?’ This deep emotion was triggered yesterday by John’s open rejection of me when we were at some friends place and the topic of us selling our house and relocating came up. I could feel strong resistance from him towards this conversation even though we have been talking of moving for the past ten years or so. I could feel myself projecting anger at him as I felt a deep sense of rejection.

Later that night we talked about this experience and as we were talking I could feel this emotion of ‘why won’t he listen to me? Why doesn’t anyone believe me?’ And I realized that it is connected with my father and my experiences of sexual abuse as a two year old. I desperately wanted daddy to believe me but he didn’t. He was more concerned with keeping the status quo than he was of protecting me. It was at this time that I learnt that I must sacrifice myself in order to gain daddy’s approval and love – and I have been doing that ever since! I have been sacrificing my self, my truth, my soul, my desires in order to feel love and approval and now I realize that I have hated myself for doing this. I have hated myself most of my life and I have not trusted my body – ever! Hence the sexual experimentation as a child, the thrush and acne as a teenager and young adult, the difficult pregnancies and increasing weight with each one and the ongoing battle with obesity and pain. These have all been self-punishing effects from the emotions of feeling totally unworthy and unlovable, of never feeling as if I would ever be enough or that my life would ever mean anything.

After working through this emotion for some five hours one of my guides came to me and explained that this emotion of deep, deep unworthiness is a generational emotion and deeply ingrained in both my father and my mother and that very few on either side have chosen to feel this deep unworthiness, this is why it is so hard for me. He reassured me that God and many Celestial spirits have been with me throughout this process supporting me and that God is pleased with my progress. He gently reminded me that I am loved and respected and not to be so hard on myself. There is more to work through but God knows what my soul can cope with and to trust the process – and myself.

As I allowed myself to continue to dip into these emotions of deep unworthiness a couple of weeks later I wrote this poem. It speaks for itself.

There are cracks appearing in my armour

There are cracks appearing in my armour
And they make it easier to breathe
There are cracks appearing in my armour
And it is beginning to set me free

As I open my soul to Your Divine Love
I feel little bits of armour fall away
And the real me beginning to shine through
I am beginning to feel safe and not want to flee

There are cracks appearing in my armour
Slowly opening, getting wider
Soon large chunks of armour will fall off
And everyone will see the real me.

I thought it would be scary to let go
Of the armour I have so carefully built around myself
But I am beginning to realize that this armour
Has been my hindrance and kept me from knowing You

There are cracks appearing in my armour
And for this I am very grateful
For when the armour falls away
All that will be revealed is God’s true Majesty

Linda Munster
22.02.11

A New Day is Unfolding

I wrote this poem at the begining of this year, initially I titled it A New Year is Unfolding then I realized that it really applies to each new day and changed it. It is a reminder to me that each new day is a new begining no matter what it reveals and that God is constantly by my side. It reminds me to constantly challenge my fears and to leartn to trust God and when I do let go of control and trust, miracles can happen and I witness this each day. A new day is unfolding with its endless potential, what will you do with it? What will I?

A New Day is Unfolding

A new day is unfolding with all of its hidden potential and mystery
Will you embrace it and all that it has to offer?
Or will you just sit on the sidelines and watch it pass you by?
Will you rise to its challenges and walk with God by your side?
Or will you hide in fear and confusion?
Will you have the courage to follow your passions and desires
no matter how small or grand?
Or will you convince yourself that you are unworthy of even the smallest triumph?
A new day is unfolding, beckoning you on
Don’t be afraid to step into the unknown for you never walk alone
God is always by your side and also your unseen guides
It is time to look deep within, to heed the voice that calls you on.
It is time to let your light shine.
A new day is unfolding with all of its hidden potential and mystery
Will you have the courage to carry God’s light and love
Into the darkness for others to see?
Will you have the courage to carry God’s light and love into the darkness
So that She may reveal all that is hidden there?
Will you have the courage to show the way and together with your brothers
And sisters reveal a hidden paradise that lies waiting for all to enjoy?
A new day is unfolding beckoning you on
Waiting for you to discover its treasures.
Don’t be afraid to step into the unknown
For you never walk alone.

Linda
01.01.11

Lost in the Wilderness and God's Gentleness

Dear God,

Why did you make this so hard? There is an ache deep within my soul crying out to be loved and to love my soulmate and at the same time there is a deep shame and fear preventing me from doing so fully and I don’t understand it! I don’t understand what this pain and shame is about and I don’t understand why I am so afraid to face it!.. Can You help me please? I can’t do this alone and right now I feel so very alone and confused and afraid and I don’t know what to do.

I have tried connecting to this emotion but it feels scary and too painful to face. Will I ever be able to make love with my soulmate again without pain or shame? God, I love him so much it hurts and yet I am not able to show him my love fully but still he loves me, still he wants me, still he holds and comforts me and I feel so very unworthy of his love. What is this soulmate love Father? Have I really been privileged enough to have known this one true love for over thirty years God? Why? I feel so fat and unlovable in this body Father and I don’t understand why he would even want to love me! Why do You love me?

This all feels so confusing and I have nowhere to turn. I wish I could understand! I wish I had the courage and willingness to face the truth of this emotion, but I am weary God, and I have no strength or motivation now – it is late and I am tired, confused and doubting everything! I wish I understood!

Where are You Father when I need You? Am I such a lost and hopeless cause that my voice is so weak and distorted in the wilderness that even You do not hear me? I want to understand but deep within me there is a huge resistance to this truth that I am to afraid to go there. Right now I find that I don’t trust You, I can’t trust You and I don’t understand why this is? Can You help me to understand please? Please God, will You hear my cry? Will You answer me? Will You help me?

I can’t sleep – I can’t feel – what am I left to do? Will You help me please? Help me to have the courage and willingness to face the truth of this emotion! What is the truth Father? Will I ever know it? Will I ever be free of this burden? Will I ever understand?

He lies in our bed, asleep now, is he dreaming of me? Dreaming of the love we once new, the love that now seems to be a faint memory? He is everything I aspire to be – loving, gentle, patient, kind, forgiving, clever, sharp and I can’t believe he is mine, and worse, I can’t believe I am testing him like this! What did I do to deserve his love? Will I ever feel worthy of it?

Please God, can You help me face the truth? Will my guides help me?

Linda
29.09.10

This letter to God was a continuation on from the War of the Souls that I have published earlier. It highlights how difficult I find this emotional work at times and how difficult I find it to let go of addictions. I have been working on these emotions for months now, on and off, and still find that there is still much to work through around my soulmate relationship and particularly around sexual abuse and shame. All I can do is to continue to pray to God for the courage and willingness to go into the emotions and when they do begin to surface to allow myself to surrender to them rather than to fight which has been my pattern.

And then when I do have the courage to fully face an emotion and I feel God's Love enter my soul I feel the gentleness of God and I know it is all worthwhile.

God’s Gentleness

Shame rising in waves and crashing over me
Walls, strong and resilient, resisting the waves
Fear, overpowering me, blocking the emotions from flowing free
Grief overflowing, beckoning me into my cave

Falling deeper and deeper into myself
Unlocking the mysteries buried deep within
Grace lifting me up, giving me strength
Unlocking the errors that lie hidden inside

Truth emerging, setting me free
God’s Love filling my soul allowing me
Peace radiating outwards for all to see
God’s gentleness in loving me

Linda Munster
06.09.10



with Love

Linda

Would You Know Him if You Saw Him

Last week I had an interesting experience with some of my family. As we were talking about what we were going to be doing for the weekend I was asked my plans and I spoke about going to Murgon for the weekend to the workshop on the God's Way of Love Organization. When asked about the organization and who AJ Miller was I said that he is Jesus and is here to reteach the truths that were lost and or distorted in the first century. I was surprised at the degree of anger that was projected and the fireceness with which some people protect their beliefs. I guess I felt a mixture of saddness and also acceptance as I know it is a fairly way out statement to make, especially to staunch Christians who believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and that no other truths could possibly exist. This reminded me of a poem I wrote early in my acquantance with AJ and when I checked the date I realized that this was in fact the first poem that I wrote. I share it now with you.

Would you know him if you saw him?

He walks amongst us once more
Returned as promised 2000 years ago
Living His life as an example to all
Showing the way back home
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

His message is honest and filled with love
His mission the same as before
Listen with your heart and you will know
His wisdom will lead you back home
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

Go beyond what you think you know
Challenge everything you have been taught
Listen with your heart and open your Soul
His love and wisdom is there for all who seek
There are no boundaries, no limits
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

To be in His presence is to be surrounded by love
And yet His absolute honesty and truth will challenge and frighten you.
He asks nothing of us, yet gives everything of Himself.
Are you ready to release your fears and doubts?
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

Love and truth and honesty will be your guide.


By Linda Munster
09.10.09

God is my Shining Light

Right now I need to visit this place but for some reason that I am not yet willing to face I am unable to go there at present but I remember that God IS my shining light and I pray for the courage and willingness to go there soon

love
Linda

God is My Shining Light

There is a place that I go to
Sometimes when I am feeling brave
It is vast and dark and scary
And many mysteries are buried in this cave

I can see a tiny light
Deep within its core
And it draws me deeper inwards
Searching for its source

But there are many twists and turns
Within this deep dark place
And sometimes I feel so lost and alone
As I cautiously and timidly explore

Sometimes it feels too scary
To continue on any further
And I quietly pull myself back
For fear of being swallowed there

But that tiny light deep within its centre
Keeps beckoning me in
And it sometimes seems so beautiful
I find myself going boldly there

And when I face the deep darkness
And have the courage to get past the cracks
I am rewarded with a beauty and peacefulness
That is so bright and full of tenderness

For it is You waiting there for me
Your loving presence beckoning me in
It is Your light that shines so brightly
Washing over me therein

For You are the centre of my world
My only guiding light
And when I have the courage to face the darkness
Your love makes it seem alright.


Linda Munster
22.06.10

Stepping into Desire

For a while now I have wanted to write about some of my experiences but have been too fearful to do this because of large emotions around fear, rejection and ridicule. I realize that these emotions have been keeping me from stepping into my desire and it is time to challenge this. I no longer want to live a life of fear, I want to spread my wings and learn to fly and I am learning that with God's Grace anything is possible.

I "discovered" the Divine Love Path about 20months ago and have been very blessed to have met many wonderful brothers and sisters who have encouraged and supported me on my journey. In the course of our sharing, learning and growing I have at times shared some of my letters and poems to God along with some of my reflections and these have been well received. It is with this encouragement that I step into my desire and share with you here some of my journey towards Love and Truth, the things that have inspired and challenged me.

This blog is a sharing of reflections, letters and poems to God that I have written over the past year and a half and of those I have yet to write. It is my hope that these may help and encourage you on your own personal journey and that in time you may feel free to share some of your own experiences and discoveries here as well.

One of the things that I have learnt on this path is that God already knows everything about me and loves me anyway. My Celestial Guides already know everything about me and love me anyway. My challenge is to go deep into the hidden recesses of my soul and uncover the hidden parts of myself and learn to love me in spite of these. It is a challenge that at times I find very daunting as I realize that there are parts of myself that I would rather keep well hidden, except that this is an illusion. In God's world there are NO SECRETS. It is time to live life on earth in the same way - with no secrets and in love.

My thanks go to Yeshua and Mary for their inspiration and example of what real love truly is and for their examples of courage, truth and unconditional love. You are my inspiration and my greatest teachers and I am very grateful for your love, patience and encouragement.

with much love and blessings

Linda

This first poem was written after I have been following the teachings of AJ Miller and learning about Divine Love for approximately five months. It really is the begining of my journey into myself.

..................................................................................

I have been sitting in my unworthiness this week and realizing how many facets there are to it. Unworthiness is such a deeply denied emotion over so many generations because it is so painful to feel. Yesterday and today there have been many tears shed over my unworthiness. Yesterday it was around mother and teachers. Today around childhood traumas, getting the strap from dad when we were naughty and really feeling at a soul level that I was not loved by either of my parents and feeling their own unworthiness and overwhelmed feelings of inadequacy, then going back even further for just a glimpse of my grandparents emotions. So much fear and doubt has been held within our souls for so much time and I am relieved to finally be able to let some of it go.

I know I have not yet worked through all of my unworthiness issues but I have made a start and that is a wonderful thing! I have been sitting in my unworthiness this week and realizing how many facets there are to it. Unworthiness is such a deeply denied emotion over so many generations because it is so painful to feel. Yesterday and today there have been many tears shed over my unworthiness.

I have also been sitting with some discomfort around the Padget Messages and in the prayer this morning I realized that the emotion that was coming up was jealousy! Again related to unworthiness and I think that was the trigger for this morning’s tears. How horrified I felt when I realized that I was jealous of Jesus! What a shock to my soul to acknowledge that emotion, an emotion that I did not realize that I had within me because it has been so deeply hidden and then there was a lot of guilt around that. There is so much still to work through, so much fear still existing in my soul and I have barely begun to scratch the surface.

Wondering

Clouds hovering
Sun hiding
Birds singing
Soul crying
Wondering?

Tears falling
Questions arising
Soul asking
God replying
Wondering?

Clouds lifting
Sun peaking
Spirits smiling
Soul singing
Wondering!

Linda Munster
15.12.09