Thursday, 14 April 2011


Something that I sometimes forget to do is to express my gratitude to God for all that She has given to me, for the way She supports me through my struggles and doubts. I am aiming to change this, to make gratitude a large part of each and every day even when I am struggling with resistance to a particular emotion. I hope you find this letter to God of some benefit

Dear God,

I want to thank you for today and for showing me that I can trust You and that You are always there when I need You, even though I may not feel Your presence. But God, I want You to know how confused I feel about Your presence in my life. I don’t understand why it is that sometimes You hear and answer me and why sometimes You don’t seem to notice me? This issue with my health and my weight has been ongoing for so many years and I don’t understand how you could take away the success that I had when it had been so long coming? I know that You want me to know that it is I who took it all away but I am really struggling to understand that.

I want so much to understand why it is that I feel so unworthy and unlovable and I am grateful for the truths that You have shown me so far. But, at times I feel so overwhelmed by the toxic stew of emotions that are brewing within me that I find it difficult to really know that You really are with me. I want to remove the barriers that I keep putting between us. I want to experience our connection more fully.

I want to know what it really is to love and feel loved. I feel so unworthy of Your love and I wonder if I will ever be capable of understanding Your Truth and Your Love? And God, I don’t understand my relationship with John. I so want him and our children to know the joy of a relationship with You and to know what it is to be truly, deeply loved as only You can love us. Please help me to show them the way. Help me to remove the barriers that prevent my connection with You so that I may grow in love and understanding and in so doing show them the way to Your great love and truth.

Father, I am so grateful for the opportunity You have given me this weekend and for the beautiful teachers who are sharing their journey and their love with us this weekend. I still can’t believe that I know Jesus and Mary Magdalene!! I feel so unworthy to be here and yet I know that deep down, at some level, I am worthy of Your love and tender care.

Help me to truly feel that worthiness which is hidden deeply within me. Help me to fully feel and release all of the emotions of error within my soul that prevent me from having a truly deep and satisfying relationship with You.

I want so much to understand myself and to find that little girl again – the one who once knew joy and laughter and courage and love, but I fear that she is so well hidden that I may never find her!

I know that if I can only learn to fully trust in Your love and care that I will eventually find her, but I struggle so much at times and I feel so unworthy of Your love, of anyone’s love. I want to understand every aspect of my life and I want to release all of the barriers that prevent me from knowing, feeling and understanding Your great Love for me and Your Truths. I pray for Your guidance, especially when I stumble in the dark, and I pray for the awareness that I might recognize and learn from my Law of Attraction.

Father, I thank You for Your patience, mercy and understanding and I trust that You know that I give You all the love that I am capable of giving right now.


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