Wednesday 28 December 2011

Wake Up and Dawn Gently Breaking

The end of the year is fast approaching closely followed by the dawning of the new year with all of its potential challenges, triumphs, joys and friendships. 

This morning I was reflecting a bit on this past year and the coming year and I came across these poems that I had written back in June.  I thought it would be appropriate to share them here.  They came to me following an early morning process, one of those rare times when I allow my soul to respond without resistance to a sleep state/dream state trigger no matter what the time of day or night. 

This is the gift that God gives me when I allow Love to prevail in my life.


Wake Up

Wake up, wake up
The day softly calls
New adventures to be had
Old memories to recall
God’s Love to discover
As He reshapes my soul.

Wake up, wake up
Come out and see
As God calls softly to me
To experience His Majesty
To soak in the warmth
Of His Divine Love
Flowing into my heart
from Heaven above

Dawn gently breaking
A soft glow is growing
As the darkness in my soul
With God’s Love is transforming

Into a gently glowing light for all the world to see
The power that God’s Love
Has over me
Reshaping my soul and making me whole
Slowly the light grows
As the sun peaks over the horizon
Slowly the day brightens and suddenly I see
That God transforms my soul
Just as He does each new day
Softly, slowly, gently
So as not to alarm
But rather to warm and to calm

Wake up, wake up
The day softly calls
New adventures to be had
Old memories to recall
God’s Love to discover
As He reshapes my soul.

03.06.11

Dawn gently breaking

Dawn gently breaking
A soft glow is growing
As the darkness of night
Gives way to a new day awakening.

The twinkling lights of the city
Fade in the distance
As the warm glowing sky
Offers no resistance
To the newness of the day
Beckoning me forth to go out and play

A kookaburra calls gladly
His laughter is catching
‘come play with me’ he calls
A chorus of song responding
As God’s creatures let me know
That a new day is beckoning

The warmth of the sunshine
Washers over a new day
Beckoning me to come out and play
To uncover the secrets of this unique day
And join in the chorus of praise
For all of God’s abundant gifts

A day full of promise and hope
Full of laughter and tears
Full of surprises and fears
As I allow God’s Love
To wash away my resistance
And to reveal the real me that She created.

Dawn gently breaking
A soft glow is growing
As the darkness of night
Gives way to a new day awakening

03.06.11

Friday 16 December 2011

Resistance and Change

The last couple of days I have been travelling, praying and feeling into some emotions that are coming up for me.  At the moment I am recognizing just how much resistance I have in me to unlocking the truth of the errors in my soul.  I am also recognizing that the desire that I thought I had for God and truth is really very small and I feel like a failure at the moment - like nothing I do will ever be good enough.  Yesterday on my way home from Uralla (having been to a talk at Kyabra the previous night) I stopped at Giroween National Park near Stanthorpe in Qld.  It was here as I sat and watched the water flowing over the huge granite boulders, some of which have worn away creating cracks and crevices in the river bed, that I received the following message.  I am sharing it here with the understanding that I do not consider myself to be a medium and am still very uncertain of the accuracy of these messages.  Please recognize that this, and any other such messages that I post here are received through the filters of my own errors and may not be 100% accurate.  I encourage you to feel into the messages and make your own assesments of the level of truth contained therein.

Received 15th December at Giraween National Park. Qld

Have you ever considered how a free flowing stream will eventually wear away even the toughest rocks?  So it is with God’s Love. When you allow God’s Love to wash over you soul He will wear away the resistance of even the most hardened heart.

Allow God’s Love to continually wash over you.  Pray for His Love to enter your soul and eventually all of your resistances will crumble and wash away, just as the toughest granite will eventually wear down to mere grains of sand as the gentle stream washes over it, until it is completely broken down and the landscape is made anew.

God’s creation is all around you.  Observe it.  Learn from it.  For surely that which He does for the lowliest of His creations He will do for you, the greatest of His creation and even greater things.

Learn to bend and adapt just as nature does.

Do not offer resistance to change for change is an integral part of God’s landscape and that includes you and all of His children.

Learn to trust this for you will need to be able to rest in the certainty of this truth in the coming months and years.


With love

Margaret

Wednesday 30 November 2011

On Trust and Judgement

This letter to God was written a couple of days after I recently began my journey into self-responsibility and God reliance.  I had been away from home less than a week and was already feeling the strength of my addictions.  I am very grateful for the advice given to me by my guides both then and today, for once again, as I type and re-read this, I realize that it is perfect for where I am at at this moment. I hope it is of help to you also.

love

Linda

04.11.11

Dear God,

I don’t want to do this anymore!  I don’t want to face the truth of how unloving I have been in my life!   I don’t want to know how much I hate men, how much anger I have within my soul about the way I have been treated by men in the past.  I don’t want to know how unloving I have been!  I don’t want to feel all the guilt and shame that I feel about how I have used John as a comfort blanket to make me feel better about myself.  I am afraid that if I let him go I will sink into the dark abyss of despair that is in my soul and I will not have the courage or the strength to find my way back to me!  I don’t even know who that is anymore God!  I am not sure that I ever knew.  

I feel lost, alone, confused and jaded in this whole process.  I don’t recognize when I am in my body or not.  I have trouble recognizing love.  I crave reassurance.  It is like a drug and without it I can not survive.  I need someone to tell me that I am ok, that I am lovable, that I am worthwhile. 

I want to run back home to John’s loving embrace, to the comfort and reassurance that I know he will give me.  But if I do that I will have failed.  It will be yet another quick fix to make me feel better and if I do that I will be placing a very unloving demand upon him.  I don’t want to do that anymore God!  I don’t want to live in a relationship full of addiction and avoidance.  I have caused him enough pain.  I have pushed him away enough. 

But I am lost God! I feel all of this turmoil in my soul and I don’t understand it.  I want someone to rescue me!  I feel that I cannot do this alone and I need help but I do not know where to turn.  I don’t feel my guides with me anymore God.  Why have I turned them away?  I feel so inadequate, so small, so broken, so false!  How do I heal this part of me God? Will I ever have the courage to face the truth? To let You in? To trust love?

Why don’t I want to trust love God? What is love? Who am I?  Where am I? Please help me!  Show me what to do!  Can I please ask for some help?  Can I please ask for some guidance and for the humility to take direction and the willingness to be open to the truth? 

How do I succumb to the grief around the truth without beating myself up about it?  How do I learn to be gentle and loving with myself?  How do I learn to trust the truth? How do I learn to forgive myself?

With God!

But where is God?  Why don’t I feel Her?

God is watching and waiting for you to open your heart and soul to Her.  She wants to comfort you but you keep putting up blocks.  You keep running away.

How do I stop running away?

Allow yourself to feel the fear and the pain without judgement or expectation.  Allow the emotion to flow. Allow the emotion to reveal the truth.  Do not judge it, do not try to pre-empt it, just allow it.

How do I let go of judgement?

Feel what it is like to feel judged.  Feel what your own judgement had done to others.  Just feel it, without question, without judgement, just acceptance.  And when it is done, when the emotion is spent, feel the relief.  Do not judge it, do not question it, just feel it.  Accept it. 

You are making this much harder than it needs to be.  Relax into the process more.  Trust the process.  Trust God.  Trust yourself and trust us.  We are always with you waiting for an opportunity to assist you and that comes through love.  Do not be so hard on yourself.  Trust and allow the process.  Love yourself even in your error for when you recognize and release the error another part of the real you is revealed, the real you who is beautiful, the real you who others sometimes see.  Trust this.  Love yourself and then you will find it much easier to love others. 

You don’t have to do it all in one go.  It takes time and patience.  Be patient with yourself.  You are all beginning on a remarkable journey, one that has not been followed on earth for nearly 2000 years and even then was only done successfully by one man.  He guides you now.  Listen to him, learn from him, trust him, but mostly be patient with yourself.  This is not a race.  It is not a competition but rather an opportunity that you have chosen to accept.  Do not worry about time, you are too caught up in time.  Time is an illusion and it can be a trap.  Live each moment as it presents yourself.  Do not skip over moments, this is an error in you that will take much practice to overcome.  Learn to be present in every moment, every aspect of every moment.  Meditate more and in the stillness notice everything without judgement. Learn to be present and go from there.  There are no shortcuts but you can prolong your journey through arrogance, impatience and judgement. 

Learn to be humble, to be present. 

We will help you.

 We love you very much.

Peter and others

Saturday 19 November 2011

A Letter from God

I have been away for the past 18days camping on my own.  This was for me an exercise in stepping more fully into self-responsibility and God-reliance and challenging the huge addiction that I had to being rescued. It was an interesting experience and brough up much stuff for me, both exposing some of the errors in my soul and rekindling an amazement and wonder at all of God's creation.  Over the next few days or weeks I will post more of what I learn't on this trip but today I would like to share some things I learn on the trip and also an exercise I did with the Prayer for Divine Love while away (Thanks to Anna for suggesting this exercise).  I suggest that you do the same, use the Prayer as a guide to write a letter to you from God.

Things I learnt from 18 days camping on my own
With God anything is possible
I can survive on my own if I have to
I CAN trust God
When I stay connected to my body though physical activity/exercise I connect to my real (emotional) self (soul) and my guides more easily
I am never alone even if sometimes I feel lonely
ALL of God’s creation is truly amazing (I knew this but good to have it reaffirmed)
It is OK to lean on somebody for support, especially if that someone is God
It is OK to be gentle with myself, God doesn’t expect me to be perfect in an instant, He is infinitely patient and I am allowed to be patient with myself too.  Eternity is a VERY long time.
When I hold on to anger/fear/rage I am more likely to be attacked by annoying insects but when I release fear/anger/rage lovingly insects are kinder to me.
Truth when coupled with love is a gift
My body works best on a predominately raw diet.

A letter from God

My dearest child, I am your Father who loves you and through this love I have created all that is for your enjoyment and contemplation.  You are My child, the greatest of all of My creations and My Love for you knows no bounds.  My soul sings with joy at your triumphs and I am delighted when you turn to Me in your anguish.

My child, how I wish you could understand how great My Love is for you and how much I desire for you to grow in love and become at-one with Me, free of error and ever-growing in love and truth, respecting all of My creation and understanding the intricacies of its purpose.

I long for you to understand that My Love is waiting for you and that you simply have to open your soul to Truth so that the errors might leave you and My Holy Spirit may then fill your soul with My Love in such great abundance that your soul will be truly transformed into the very essence of Myself.  And with each step of this transformation your faith will continue to grow until you realize that you are My child, filled with love and compassion for yourself and for each and every one of your brothers and sisters and all of My creation.

I want you to understand that I am your Father and you are My child and that My Love for you is such that I will give to you everything that you need for a life filled with love and bliss. But you need to want these things from Me with all sincerity and know that I can not and will not provide these gifts unless you choose to receive them through truth and love.

Please know dear child that I am here always and I wait for you to awaken your desire for Me and to come to Me in earnestness and with faith that I will provide for you everything that you need.

I watch over you every moment of every day and you are always in My Heart, even when you stray and forget that I am there, yet still I am with you.  I have sent you angels to guide you, but you must learn to listen to them with your heart and soul and they will help to keep you safe from those who may choose to try to harm or control you and try to steer you away from Me through the temptations of the flesh which will weaken you.

My love knows no bounds and as your beloved Father I want to bestow My Love upon you in great abundance.  Know that I wait for you and I long to take you fully into My loving arms where you may rest your weary soul.

You are safe with Me and can trust in My Love.

Come my child, come home to where love and joy and bliss await you for I am your Father and I wait for you. My soul is bursting with love for you.  Come home to Me and rest where you belong.

Your loving Father.

14.11.11

Saturday 29 October 2011

Sitting on the Sidelines of Death

I have been away for a couple of weeks and during that time I had the privilage of nursing my dying aunt at her home along with several other members of my family.  Being awake during the early hours of the morning or the darkest part of the night gave me pleanty of time for reflection and prayer, often times I would pray with my aunt or read to her passages on love and faith from the Judas messages.  It was a very special time for all involved in her care at home.  For the first time in my life I felt a sense of peace over what was to come, for the first time I did not feel a growing dread or fear of what lies ahead.  For the most part I felt at peace knowing that God's grand designs are totally loving, knowing that I would have the opportunity to speak with her again one day.  In the early hours of one morning as I sat by her bedside not knowing how much longer she would be with us I wrote the following passage.  I share it now with you in the hope that it might help you or a loved one should you find yourself in a similar situation.

with love
Linda
29.10.2011

Sitting on the Sidelines of Death

I am sitting on the sidelines of death watching a loved one struggle to let go.  Watching and waiting silently in the early hours of the morning wondering how long she will hold on, how long fear will take hold?  For now she seems peaceful, resting comfortably, breathing slowly, heavily.  She is far too young to be leaving us this way, just sixty seven years here on earth, but her body is giving way as the cancer takes hold.  She has had a good life filled with adventure and love but it has been marred by sadness and struggle, by fear and doubt and they have taken their toll and so it is time for her to let go and face the truth.

I observe those around her, each with their own personal struggle, not really understanding this process we call death and too afraid to investigate what it really means.  And I see myself in them not so very long ago, afraid, doubtful, confused, avoiding the truth of what is for fear of what it might stir in my soul.  But now I am just grateful for the knowledge I have and the peace it brings to my soul.  Grateful for God’s Divine Love and knowing that this life we experience here on earth is just the beginning, and when our physical body fades we simply transition to a new place, a new way of being where there is no escaping truth and where love is our only salvation. Grateful for the gifts I have been given and the love I have been shown.

I watch silently as she sleeps, listening to her breathing and the sounds of the constant traffic one block away.  Soon the day will begin to awaken bringing with it fresh hope of a few more precious hours with our loved one and a constant stream of fresh faces coming to pay their respects and say their final farewells.

It is a funny thing this process we call death, it has so many varied connotations for each individual that it touches, but for most the dominant emotion appears to be fear.  I see it in their eyes, in the way they carry themselves and in the way they valiantly attempt to pretend that everything is all right.  I feel this fear in their souls, pushed far into the recesses of their minds, buried beneath an external veneer of strength and solidarity.   They do not realize the damage this fear is doing to their bodies but sooner or later this fear will surface in their physical bodies begging to be recognized, experienced and released.  This is a difficult process as I have found, but as I now allow myself to begin to experience and release my long held fears I notice a freeing of my body and a growing peace in my soul.

And so I sit on the sidelines of death observing its progress and the effects it has on those around our loved one whose last days and moments we are witnessing and I am grateful for the knowledge and experience I have of God’s Divine Love and the peace it brings to my soul at this time of transition.

She sleeps peacefully as loved ones keep watch silently by her side not knowing how much longer she has with us.  The dark lonely hours of the night give way to the soft glow of dawn, to the first soft songs of the early birds gradually intensifying as they are joined by others until their chorus can’t be ignored and the sky grows even lighter with each passing minute.  Soon the sun will peak its head over the range warming us with its rays and the slow soft drone of night turns into the business of the day.

She drifts in and out of sleep now brightening the room with her smile and sense of humour.  How much longer will she stay we do not know, we know only that we do not want to let her go for we will miss her when she is gone, her sense of mischief and fun, her laughter and her love.  It has been a privilege to know her, to call her sister, aunt, friend, but let her go we must for her time is near, a time of sadness for all who hold her dear and do not yet fully trust in God’s grand designs.

Rest well dear one for a new adventure will soon begin. 

Rest well knowing you are not alone, your angels are waiting to bring you home.

Monday 3 October 2011

Confusion

It has been some time now since I have written anything, either here or in my notebook. I am struggling with desire and with worthiness to have/follow my desires. Lots has been happening for us and I have been away quite a lot which is taking me away from my desire to write more. I question if this is a pure desire of just another means by which to be noticed? I have been feeling totally overwhelmed by the barrage of emotions that have been cropping up and by the lack of time to process these. I know this is an illusion though for if I was being truly humble I would allow myself to fully feel these emotions as they arise. I find I still have a lot of shame, fear, doubt and mistrust in me. I am working on these, especially fear and I am noticing that as I feel my fear and allow it to pass through me, my body feels freer but still I find it daunting and I often find myself questioning God. This poem was written some time ago but I find it is still as relevant now as it was when I wrote it. I pray for the courage and the willingness to go deeply into my fear, shame and grief so that my body and soul may feel the healing power of God's Great Love

Confusion
Confusion coursing through my soul
Dark clouds descending
Struggling to understand the truth
That I have been avoiding

And I find myself doubting
God’s Love for me.

Confusion swirling all around me
Engulfing my soul
Seeping into the very depths of my being
Allowing doubt to take hold.

Finding it difficult to breathe
Guilt and shame descending
Struggling to understand
God’s plan for me

Confusion rising within me once more
Keeping me away from God’s door.

Constantly dipping in and out
Afraid to know the truth
Running away
Hiding
Confused

Confusion coursing through my soul
Distracting me from the truth
Where is God when I need Her?
Am I not worthy of Her love
Why does She abandon me
in my hour of need?

Feeling weak and helpless
Doubting God’s great plan
Feeling weak
Fragile
Unworthy of God’s love

Confusion swirling all around me
Too afraid to understand
Wanting to run away and hide
Confusion engulfing me
Will fear and doubt survive?

Praying for guidance
As tears stream down my face
Help me to have the courage
To face the truth.
Forgive me for my weakness.

Confusion coursing through my soul
Feeling abandoned and unloved
Too afraid to face the truth
Cowering
Hiding
Avoiding

Help me please to face the truth
Give me courage
Give me faith
Teach me humility
Remove the veil of confusion
So that I may come to face reality

Confusion coursing through my soul
Confusion swirling all around me
Confusion…
Confused….
Afraid….

Confusion coursing through my soul
Confusion swirling all around me
Fear…
Doubt…
Confused…confused…confused.

I am so weak
Choosing pain over truth
Why do I torture myself so
Why won’t I let fear go?

Is the truth so painful
That I would choose
To torment and torture myself
Rather than face the truth?

Is love so distant
that it is unreachable?
Or is it simply
that I am not capable?

Open my heart and my soul I pray
That I may have the courage
to face another day
Open my heart and my soul I pray
So that Your Love
Might find a place to stay.

Linda
08.03.11

Wednesday 6 July 2011

Where are You Father?

It has been a few weeks since I posted anything new, this is mostly because I have been resisting a lot of emotions and struggling with fear. I had lost sight of God as the central focus in my life and I paid dearly for this. I continued to pray to God for guidance and for the courage and the willingness to face the truth. Today my prayers were answered and I share now with you the struggles that I have been facing. It took several hours to write this letter to God as I worked my way through the emotins that came up while writing, finally, after a couple of hours a picture emerged and I was able to gain some clarity around the emotion. I hope this is of some benefit to you.

.......................................................................

06.07.11

Where are You Father? Are You here? Lately I have been struggling to feel Your presence in my life and I do not understand why I have shut You out so! Father, I know form experience that my life flows much more smoothly when You remain at the centre of my thoughts, so why have I abandoned You? Why have I allowed myself to get so caught up in day to day events? Because of this I now find myself struggling with many aspects of my life and I don’t understand it! What causes me to turn away from You? How can I open my soul to the truth of these emotions Father so that I may release these errors that me from connecting more fully with You?

I pray often Father, but my prayers go unheard and unanswered – why? What is the error in my soul that needs to be released right now in order for me to allow Your love back into my life? How can I do this Father? Dare I ask who will help me? Or perhaps You want me to know that only I can reach into the dark recesses of my soul to release the pain hidden there. But I have tried Father, I have tried and it seems that I am weak and cowardly and don’t yet want to go there fully. Can You please help me to have the courage and the willingness to face this truth which is preventing me from having a deeper connection with You? Please!

I seem to be so overrun with doubt and fear at the moment Father and I am struggling to understand why this is so. It is difficult what You ask of me Father, to be in this world but not of this world, it is difficult to be truly open and humble in the midst of people who are so driven by fear and avoidance and I recognize myself in them Father. I recognize my own cowardice and avoidance and I feel such deep shame at this for I know it means that I do not yet trust You fully! Please help me to overcome this fear that I have, lift this burden of shame form my soul so that I may come to know You more fully, so that I may have the courage to serve You more completely, so that I may learn to be a beacon of light and love and hope in a world filled with darkness, fear and confusion.

I still struggle to understand why me Father! Why is it that I am amongst the few who are as yet open to learning Your truths and have the privilege of learning directly from Yeshua and Mary? How is that possible Father when I feel so small and insignificant, so incomplete and broken! What could I possibly have to offer that someone else doesn’t already have? What is special about me? How can I best serve You Father as well as my brothers and sisters? What is the gift that You have given me that will enable me to serve You most completely? Can You please help me to overcome the blocks that I have to uncovering this gift, the fear of ridicule and rejection that is still so deeply imbedded in my soul?

Why do I feel so helpless and useless Father? Will I ever find the courage to face the truth of this injury in my soul? Only You can help me Father, only You! Please help me to find the courage and the willingness to face the darkness in my soul and to step out from the shadows and into the glory of Your Light and Love! It feels safe here in my darkness. Here in the shadows I can pretend that everything is alright, I can pretend that I am not broken lying discarded on a pile of rocks, numb to my pain and discomfort. But if I step into the light Father I will have to face the truth of my injured self, I will have to see myself as I really am, as You seem me and that feels terrifying! But I am beginning to recognize these rocks that I am laying on Father and they are uncomfortable, at times painful and I realize that my only chance of freedom is to find the courage to step into the light and face the truth of my bruised and battered soul.

Will You hold my hand Father as I step gingerly into the light? Will You help me find the courage to face the truth and release my fear, my pain, my shame? Do I have the courage to face the ugliness, the distortions and KNOW that You love me anyway, that You know who I truly am and that that child is perfect? Can I allow myself to feel the truth in this, to KNOW that You created me to be a unique and beautiful soul full of potential and passion? Dare I hope that this is True? This seems so unlikely Father, so far removed from my experiences that it is difficult to grasp – that You see my errors, my distortions, my ugliness and You love me anyway because You see beyond my wounds to the perfect child that You created, to the boundless potential that You inspired in my soul! To me this is as yet incomprehensible and yet somewhere deep within my soul something is stirring, an inkling that perhaps this IS the truth, that You created me a perfect, unblemished child full of passion and potential. An inkling is stirring in my soul Mother, a longing to know the truth of who You created me to be, to know who I am. Who am I? Who am I? Who is this child who was created perfect in natural love and how did she become the broken, confused and frightened child she is now? How can I free my soul of these chains that bind and restrict me? How can I learn to love, to let my spirit soar? How can I uncover my passions and live up to my potential?

Only You can help me Father, only You can break apart these chains that bind me and free my soul of its errors. Help me to have the courage to step out of the darkness and into the light of Your Love!

Linda
06.07.11

..........................................................................
Then this followed

How can I thank You for Your love

How can I thank You for Your love
Your patience
Your kindness
Your mercy?
What do I have to offer that could possibly express to You
My gratitude, my deep appreciation for all that You have given me?

You patiently watch over me and wait for me to understand
To realize that it is I who hold the key to my own salvation,
That You are always there waiting for me to recognize my errors,
My weaknesses and to surrender to the grief and pain
That has gripped my soul for so many years,
Holding tight, binding me, restricting me,
Preventing me from becoming all that You intended me to be.

Bit by bit I can feel the chains break away.
Bit by bit my soul regains its freedom.
A freedom lost in childhood, clouded over by fear and pain,
Muddied by doubt and confusion.
But as I allow myself to surrender to this pain
As I find the courage to face the fears and doubts
Your love begins to wash me clean
Revealing a hidden beauty full of passion and potential.
How can I thank You for Your Love,
Your patience,
Your kindness,
Your mercy?

I give to You all that I am in this moment,
Still broken, still unsure but beginning to understand,
Learning to love and to trust.
I give to You all that I may become,
My hopes and dreams of one day becoming whole again
Of one day seeing You face to face
Whole, restored to the perfect child that You created me to be
And even greater than that knowing that Your Love fills my soul
And overflows to all that I encounter.

I give You all that I am and all that I am ever capable of becoming
For it is Your Love that sets me free
Your Love that reveals the hidden me.
Thank You for Your Love,
Your patience,
Your kindness,
Your mercy.
Thank You for loving Me!

Linda
06.07.11

Wednesday 1 June 2011

Gratitude, stillness, love and trust

Lately I have been struggling with some big emotions and I find myself at times running away from the emotions that are surfacing, often making excuses why this is not a good time to feel whatever wants to be freed from my soul. I pray constantly for the courage and willingness to face these emotions, to be truly humble, to have the courage to live a life that is free, joyful, loving and trusting. But I am still struggling with this, still struggling with trusting God at times. Then I read something or I speak with someone and I am reminded of my progress since being on this path and gratitude floods my soul. Grattitude is such a gift! It helps me to remain humble. It reminds me that I am one of God's children, the greatest of His creations and the most wonderful of His habdiworks, and I am swamped with love. I have so much to be thankful for.

Linda


Dear God,

Today I am feeling very grateful for all of Your blessings in my life. I am particularly grateful for my beautiful soulmate and his love and support of me while I am on this journey. Father, there is such a longing in my soul for Your Love and Truth and I realize that there is so much that I still have to learn about myself and about Your Truths and Your Divine Love. Help me to have the courage to live consistently in Love, Truth and Humility no mater where I am or who I am with.

I thank You for Your Love and the privilege of receiving it. I thank You for Your guidance and support yesterday when I was with some friends who are not on the Divine Love Path and for the courage to be humble and vulnerable as I shared part of my journey. But Father, I recognize that there is still a lot of fear in me that is preventing me from being truly open and humble at all times and because of this I am still very cautions about speaking Your truth. I want to change that Father and I am asking for Your help to do that. Please allow me to have the courage and the willingness to work through the errors in my soul that prevent me from surrendering to You completely. Please help me to work through the errors that prevent me from surrendering to my true soul desires and that keep me doubting Your plans for me.
Teach me to love and to trust completely that Your way IS perfect.

I thank You for Your beautiful Divine Love and the gifts that You have given to me, for the spirit guides you send to help me work through different aspects of myself. It is my desire that I will grow to know and trust fully each one of my guides just as they know and love me.

Father, thank You also for Yeshua and Mary and the others of the fourteen who have returned and for the privilege of being able to get to know some of them personally. I pray that You will continue to guide and support them on their journey of discovery of their true selves. I still feel so unworthy and yet so very grateful to be walking this path at this time with my beautiful brothers and sisters and for their generosity, love and support, particularly to those who open their homes so freely.

Thank You Father for all that You are and for all that You have done for us and for all of the gifts You have given to me. Help me to use these gifts in the best possible way so that I may be of service to others. I feel truly blessed. Thank You.

Linda

22.02.11

And then this came through at a time when my soul was in a bit of confusion, adding clarity to my struggles.

Be Still My Child


Be still my child and learn to feel
As the Father’s Love sets you free

Be still my child and learn to trust
God’s Love is filling your soul awash

Be still my child and learn to listen
To God’s Truth and to God’s Wisdom

Be still my child and learn to feel
As the power of God’s love
Your soul does heal.


Linda Munster
16.03.11

Monday 23 May 2011

Longing for Truth and Love

In the midst of the anguish and pain of feeling into the errors in my soul I sometimes forget to be grateful for all that God has given me. Gratitude lifts the soul in its darkest hour. Gratitude reminds me that life is beautiful and worth living, that it is worth striving to be more loving, more giving. Right now I need the reminders which this letter to God that I wrote back in February offers. I share it now with you in the hope that you too may recognize God's Grace and Love in your life even in the middle of all your turmoil and doubt.

love
Linda

Dear God,

Today I am feeling very grateful for all of Your blessings in my life. I am particularly grateful for my beautiful soulmate and his love and support of me while I am on this journey. Father, there is such a longing in my soul for Your Love and Truth and I realize that there is so much that I still have to learn about myself and about Your Truths and Your Divine Love. Help me to have the courage to live consistently in Love, Truth and Humility no mater where I am or who I am with.

I thank You for Your Love and the privilege of receiving it. I thank You for Your guidance and support yesterday when I was with some friends who are not on the Divine Love Path and for the courage to be humble and vulnerable as I shared part of my journey. But Father, I recognize that there is still a lot of fear in me that is preventing me from being truly open and humble at all times and because of this I am still very cautions about speaking Your truth. I want to change that Father and I am asking for Your help to do that. Please allow me to have the courage and the willingness to work through the errors in my soul that prevent me from surrendering to You completely. Please help me to work through the errors that prevent me from surrendering to my true soul desires and that keep me doubting Your plans for me.
Teach me to love and to trust completely that Your way IS perfect.

I thank You for Your beautiful Divine Love and the gifts that You have given to me, for the spirit guides you send to help me work through different aspects of myself. It is my desire that I will grow to know and trust fully each one of my guides just as they know and love me.

Father, thank You also for Yeshua and Mary and the others of the fourteen who have returned and for the privilege of being able to get to know some of them personally. I pray that You will continue to guide and support them on their journey of discovery of their true selves. I still feel so unworthy and yet so very grateful to be walking this path at this time with my beautiful brothers and sisters and for their generosity, love and support, particularly to those who open their homes so freely.

Thank You Father for all that You are and for all that You have done for us and for all of the gifts You have given to me. Help me to use these gifts in the best possible way so that I may be of service to others. I feel truly blessed. Thank You.

Linda

22.02.11

Saturday 21 May 2011

God's Love is Waiting

This past week has been difficult for me as I settle back into 'normal' life after a beautiful week away. I have been finding it difficult to connect to the deeper, more painful emotions, but on Monday I was able to allow myself to feel deeply into my pain and grief. It was a difficult processing to go through but for over three and a half hours I worked my way through fear, anger, shame, grief as the emotions seemed to cycle through many different paths. I find it challenging and often confusing - always confronting and I am very grateful for the Paryer for Divine Love that Jesus gave to James Padgett (see the Divine Truth web site ) and which I constantly repeat (in part or whole) as I work my way through the errors in my soul. One part of the prayer that I am particularly grateful for is the following - a part that I often reflect upon, especially when I am feeling very overwhelmed, this reflection was written on the fifteenth Feb 2011 but has also been very relevant this past week. I hope it helps.

.....................................................................................


“Let us never cease to realize that Your Love is waiting for each and all of us and that when we come to You in Faith and earnest aspiration Your Love will never be withheld from us….”

When I am stuck in my pain and confusion I often forget that God’s love is waiting for me and that all I have to do is to ask! This I feel is a self-punishment action and I am working on letting this go and on opening up my soul fully to God’s Love and Grace in my life.

I find that I am often questioning God about how earnest I need to be in order for this error to be lifted from my soul? Usually I am reminded that the extent of the grief that I am feeling is relative to the pain that I have experienced and that I have held onto as a result of this emotion and that in order to ‘let it go’ I need to experience it fully. Sometimes this means crying for several hours or days over weeks or even months.

I often find myself questioning my faith – asking myself “am I good enough?” This too is a self-punishing emotion and once this awareness surfaces I can usually surrender then to God’s Love as I pray for forgiveness of my doubt and for the courage to feel the grief of my unworthiness fully.

Linda Munster
15.02.11

One of the hardest emotions I am finding to work through is shame and I am noticing that as I work my way through some very painful emotions shame is surfacing more and more. this poem came to me as I worked my way through some shame based emotions.

Shame

Anger coursing through my veins
Controlling my every thought and deed
Sometimes bubbling into rage
More often disguised as being peeved
It is a relief to express this part of me
To express my anger and set my soul free

Shame washing over me
Heat rising within the very core of my being
Nowhere to hide
It is all consuming
Shame
Heat,
Melting

Shame permeating the very core of my being
Shaping who I become
God’s Laws showing me
The emotions I need to overcome
Shame buried deep within me
Blocking my road to freedom

Repentance creeping into my soul
Acknowledging my anger, my shame
Praying that God will forgive
The deepest, darkest parts of my pain
Praying for forgives
Feeling unworthy of God’s Divine Love

Forgiveness washing over me
Letting me know that I am loved
Forgiveness washing over me
The Father’s Blessings from above
Feeling small and broken
Until the Father’s Love lets me know
That I am wanted. I am Loved.


Linda Munster
16.03.11

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Gratitude

We have just returned from a week at Airlie Beach in North Queensland where the weather was warm and the sea clear and where, for a week, my soul sang for joy. It was a magical week that rekindled the love in our relationship and allowed our bodies and souls to rest and recharge and it highlighted a deep appreciation for all that God has given to us. It also brought up many emotions for me which I have yet to work through, but right now I want to express my gratitude to God for all of His wonderful gifts.

Dear God,

Your Love surrounds me in every moment of my life. Waiting for me to acknowledge Your presence and invite Your Love into my soul. But I often find myself caught in the earthly trap of doubt and fear. Then, somewhere from within my soul a chord is struck, an awakening begins and I am reminded of Your Great Love which is waiting for me and for each and all of us. Waiting for us to simply ask You for Your Love and Blessings in our lives, stirring my soul to recognize Your presence in my daily life.

I want to let You now that I am very grateful for Your Love and for Your guidance in my life. For the beautiful teachers You have sent me. I know that for the most part I appear to be stuck in my doubt and pain (and I am) but then, when I have the courage to surrender to Your Will, I uncover a side of me that I had forgotten existed, that I had buried, and I am always very, very grateful for Your patience, understanding and most of all for Your Love.

Forgive me for my human frailties and confusion. Help me to continue to open my soul more and more fully unto You. Please, give me the courage and willingness to face each and every dark corner within my soul so that Your Love can heal and cleanse me, so that I may have the courage to step fully into my soul’s true and deepest desires and in so doing be of service to You and to all of my brothers and sisters both here on earth and in the spirit world.

Teach me to love.

Linda
15.02.11


Gratitude

How can I express to You
The gratitude that I feel
For Your constant Love and support …
Before You I kneel

How can I express to You
My deep gratitude
For staying with me
In my hour of need
For making my soul new?

How can I express to You
The love that I feel?
My heart is overflowing
And it is all because of You

You wait patiently for me
To have the courage to feel
You sing joyfully
When I surrender to Your will

You watch over me
You guide me
Waiting patiently for me to understand
That there is no greater Love
Ever bestowed upon man

How can I express to You
The gratitude that I feel?
What do I have to give You
That would ever begin to express
My thankfulness and love
For Your unending kindness?

I have only myself to offer
A sad and wilting flower
But I know that with Your love
My soul has endless power

I give You all that I am
All that I might become
For You alone
Are my source of joy, of love
My source of eternal blossom.


Linda Munster
10.03.11

Monday 2 May 2011

Working through Unworthiness - Cracks in my armour

At the moment I am still struggling with huge unworthiness based emotions and feeling unlovable. This is proving to be a very difficult emotion for me to work through and as I reflect back on some of my past journal entries and letters to God I find that it has been a recurring emotion for me. I struggle with this. Am I just not getting it? Am I wasteing my time even trying to work my way through this group of emotions? It seems that for me this emotion has many facets as each time I begin to work through it I find different pieces of the puzzle are revealed. It is a slow process and I am learning to trust that God knows what my soul is capable of dealing with at any one time but I am still very impatient. This letter to God was written at a particularly difficult time and as I reflect back on it now I realize that God is listening and that things have shifted.

Dear God,

Why won’t You help me? My body hurts and I can’t do anything without being in pain afterwards! I don’t deserve to be in all of this pain God! It even hurts to eat, or to walk, or to talk and I don’t understand why? Why is this so God? Don’t You love me? How can I learn to love myself if I don’t know what love really means? If I only know what pain and rejection is, how can I learn to love? Who will teach me? I don’t deserve to be in pain all of the time God! You said You would help me but You are a liar!!! You just want me to suffer! You don’t love me and You never have and You never will because I am unlovable! A despicable mistake that should never have happened! You are NOT a loving and kind God, You are MEAN!!! And You delight in my suffering. I HATE YOU!!! You never wanted me and have been punishing me my whole life because I am a constant disappointment to You. But I am a real person and I deserve Your respect if not Your love.

I deserve to be loved!

I deserve to be loved!

I AM Lovable. I am lovable!!!!

Why don’t You want to love me God? I feel like a faceless monster, I feel like I am nothing! I feel worthless!!!

Am I worthless God?

Am I nothing?

Is this all a bad dream? Will I ever feel truly lovable – truly loved? Will I ever feel worthy to know that I do have something to offer?

Linda
01.02.11

This letter to God took me into some very deep processing through fear, grief and shame for about three hours. Feelings of deep unworthiness and self-punishment kept tumbling over my soul as I prayed for guidance and faith. Deep remorse also washed over me as I realize how much harm these emotions in me have caused to our children and others. There is a sense in me that I will never get through this, that the unworthiness in me is so great that I will never be free of it and I don’t understand it. The other day I watched the movie "The Secret Life of Bees" with Queen Latifa and Dakota Fanning and this triggered again in me these deep unworthiness feelings I have around being unlovable. There is so much still to work through.

This next letter to God is just another attempt to continue working through these unworthiness based emotions.

Dear God,

How do I let go of fear and hatred and mistrust? How do I open my soul to love when I don’t really know what love is? When my only experience of love has been one that has been marred by conditions and control – even my soulmate love! How do I begin to trust You when I can’t even feel You? It all feels hopeless. It feels as if nothing will ever change and I will be held in this self-imposed prison for the rest of eternity.

I feel alone God. Isolated, alone, weary, doubtful and unworthy of Your love or of anyone else’s love! How do I change this Father? What do I need to do, to feel in order to feel worthy of Your love? Of John’s love? Please help me to feel as if I deserve to be loved! Please Father, Please help me! Please!

Linda
08.02

And this from my journal after the above letter triggered some huge emotions for me.

Right now I am feeling drained and somewhat defeated. For the past five and a half hours I have been working through the very deeply ingrained sense of unworthiness that is within my soul, feeling my way through hatred, mistrust, control, conditional love, hopelessness and ‘why won’t he listen to me? Why doesn’t anyone believe me?’ This deep emotion was triggered yesterday by John’s open rejection of me when we were at some friends place and the topic of us selling our house and relocating came up. I could feel strong resistance from him towards this conversation even though we have been talking of moving for the past ten years or so. I could feel myself projecting anger at him as I felt a deep sense of rejection.

Later that night we talked about this experience and as we were talking I could feel this emotion of ‘why won’t he listen to me? Why doesn’t anyone believe me?’ And I realized that it is connected with my father and my experiences of sexual abuse as a two year old. I desperately wanted daddy to believe me but he didn’t. He was more concerned with keeping the status quo than he was of protecting me. It was at this time that I learnt that I must sacrifice myself in order to gain daddy’s approval and love – and I have been doing that ever since! I have been sacrificing my self, my truth, my soul, my desires in order to feel love and approval and now I realize that I have hated myself for doing this. I have hated myself most of my life and I have not trusted my body – ever! Hence the sexual experimentation as a child, the thrush and acne as a teenager and young adult, the difficult pregnancies and increasing weight with each one and the ongoing battle with obesity and pain. These have all been self-punishing effects from the emotions of feeling totally unworthy and unlovable, of never feeling as if I would ever be enough or that my life would ever mean anything.

After working through this emotion for some five hours one of my guides came to me and explained that this emotion of deep, deep unworthiness is a generational emotion and deeply ingrained in both my father and my mother and that very few on either side have chosen to feel this deep unworthiness, this is why it is so hard for me. He reassured me that God and many Celestial spirits have been with me throughout this process supporting me and that God is pleased with my progress. He gently reminded me that I am loved and respected and not to be so hard on myself. There is more to work through but God knows what my soul can cope with and to trust the process – and myself.

As I allowed myself to continue to dip into these emotions of deep unworthiness a couple of weeks later I wrote this poem. It speaks for itself.

There are cracks appearing in my armour

There are cracks appearing in my armour
And they make it easier to breathe
There are cracks appearing in my armour
And it is beginning to set me free

As I open my soul to Your Divine Love
I feel little bits of armour fall away
And the real me beginning to shine through
I am beginning to feel safe and not want to flee

There are cracks appearing in my armour
Slowly opening, getting wider
Soon large chunks of armour will fall off
And everyone will see the real me.

I thought it would be scary to let go
Of the armour I have so carefully built around myself
But I am beginning to realize that this armour
Has been my hindrance and kept me from knowing You

There are cracks appearing in my armour
And for this I am very grateful
For when the armour falls away
All that will be revealed is God’s true Majesty

Linda Munster
22.02.11

Sunday 1 May 2011

Resisting emotions

There are times when I feel myself resisting my emotions, not wanting to go into the fear and deep grief that has taken a hold of my soul for fear of what might be revealed about me. I feel overwhelmed. This entry is taken from my journal on Monday 24th and Thursday 27th January 2011. It hilights the constant struggle that this emotional work can be but also the rewards that are received by way of clear memories and most importantly by God's Love flowing into the soul as an error is lifted. I often find it helpful to write my letters to God with my left hand when I am stuck. It helps me to revert to the hurt little girl quickly and I find it easier to connect to God and my emotions this way.

24.01.11

I’m tired and my body aches. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I punish myself so?

I feel terrible and yet I resist going into the grief that I know is just below the surface. My body, heart and soul are aching. I feel empty and powerless – abandoned and stranded!! I know it is all an illusion and yet I seem powerless to shatter the illusion, and that in itself is also an illusion. I feel alone. I miss my soulmate and wish he was on this path with me. I miss my relationship with God. Right now I have very little faith – I feel empty and shallow and drained. I am resisting and I don’t know why. FEAR! But of what? Why? I know that I can survive painful emotions, terror even and yet there is something stronger inside of me preventing me from trusting God. A need, a huge need to be rescued. A fear that I can’t do this on my own, that God will abandon me too, that I am not worth bothering about. The grief is overwhelming and I find it difficult and painful to breathe. I am afraid. I feel sick. Breathe! Keep breathing!. Breathe! Breathe!

Dear God,

Please help me to understand why I do not want to feel my emotions right now?

Please help me to understand why I do not want to love You fully and why I do not want to love myself?

Please help me to have the courage to see the truth?

Please help me God, please don’t abandon me!

Linda Munster
24.01.11



27.01.11

After the last entry I wrote in my left hand to God to ask Him to help me to understand. Almost immediately the emotions came up and I went to my processing room to work through the emotions that were surfacing. I worked through the emotion for an hour or so but did not get through to the completion of the emotion. I was exhausted. The next morning I woke around 8am from a dream with a start. The dream raised so much unworthiness within me. In the dream I was cooking a lamb in the oven, a whole, live lamb. I woke feeling such guilt, terror and deep, deep remorse that I cried and cried for almost three hours. During this time I was taken through several layers of emotion. I had a deep, deep realization of the error of eating meat, deep guilt and remorse for teaching my children this error, a realization that I always knew it was wrong. This is why I have never been able to participate in the killing of any animal. A realization that the Bible does tell us in Genesis that God never intended for us to eat meat, that She created a world where all of Her creatures lived in absolute harmony. A realization that in my heart and soul I knew this to be true but never had the courage to stand up for what I knew to be true for fear of being ridiculed and condemned. A realization of how much fear I have lived my life in – always feeling out of place, as if I did not belong. And then the emotion took me deeper still to the feeling of abandonment when Ada left and a deep fear that God would abandon me also because I do not deserve Her love. A knowing that Ada was with me through this process but I still have more to feel with this emotion and yet I was exhausted, especially as I had had very little sleep the night before. I allowed myself to rest in God’s loving arms before stepping into the business of the day ahead grateful for God's love and support.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

A New Day is Unfolding

I wrote this poem at the begining of this year, initially I titled it A New Year is Unfolding then I realized that it really applies to each new day and changed it. It is a reminder to me that each new day is a new begining no matter what it reveals and that God is constantly by my side. It reminds me to constantly challenge my fears and to leartn to trust God and when I do let go of control and trust, miracles can happen and I witness this each day. A new day is unfolding with its endless potential, what will you do with it? What will I?

A New Day is Unfolding

A new day is unfolding with all of its hidden potential and mystery
Will you embrace it and all that it has to offer?
Or will you just sit on the sidelines and watch it pass you by?
Will you rise to its challenges and walk with God by your side?
Or will you hide in fear and confusion?
Will you have the courage to follow your passions and desires
no matter how small or grand?
Or will you convince yourself that you are unworthy of even the smallest triumph?
A new day is unfolding, beckoning you on
Don’t be afraid to step into the unknown for you never walk alone
God is always by your side and also your unseen guides
It is time to look deep within, to heed the voice that calls you on.
It is time to let your light shine.
A new day is unfolding with all of its hidden potential and mystery
Will you have the courage to carry God’s light and love
Into the darkness for others to see?
Will you have the courage to carry God’s light and love into the darkness
So that She may reveal all that is hidden there?
Will you have the courage to show the way and together with your brothers
And sisters reveal a hidden paradise that lies waiting for all to enjoy?
A new day is unfolding beckoning you on
Waiting for you to discover its treasures.
Don’t be afraid to step into the unknown
For you never walk alone.

Linda
01.01.11

Saturday 16 April 2011

Lost in the Wilderness and God's Gentleness

Dear God,

Why did you make this so hard? There is an ache deep within my soul crying out to be loved and to love my soulmate and at the same time there is a deep shame and fear preventing me from doing so fully and I don’t understand it! I don’t understand what this pain and shame is about and I don’t understand why I am so afraid to face it!.. Can You help me please? I can’t do this alone and right now I feel so very alone and confused and afraid and I don’t know what to do.

I have tried connecting to this emotion but it feels scary and too painful to face. Will I ever be able to make love with my soulmate again without pain or shame? God, I love him so much it hurts and yet I am not able to show him my love fully but still he loves me, still he wants me, still he holds and comforts me and I feel so very unworthy of his love. What is this soulmate love Father? Have I really been privileged enough to have known this one true love for over thirty years God? Why? I feel so fat and unlovable in this body Father and I don’t understand why he would even want to love me! Why do You love me?

This all feels so confusing and I have nowhere to turn. I wish I could understand! I wish I had the courage and willingness to face the truth of this emotion, but I am weary God, and I have no strength or motivation now – it is late and I am tired, confused and doubting everything! I wish I understood!

Where are You Father when I need You? Am I such a lost and hopeless cause that my voice is so weak and distorted in the wilderness that even You do not hear me? I want to understand but deep within me there is a huge resistance to this truth that I am to afraid to go there. Right now I find that I don’t trust You, I can’t trust You and I don’t understand why this is? Can You help me to understand please? Please God, will You hear my cry? Will You answer me? Will You help me?

I can’t sleep – I can’t feel – what am I left to do? Will You help me please? Help me to have the courage and willingness to face the truth of this emotion! What is the truth Father? Will I ever know it? Will I ever be free of this burden? Will I ever understand?

He lies in our bed, asleep now, is he dreaming of me? Dreaming of the love we once new, the love that now seems to be a faint memory? He is everything I aspire to be – loving, gentle, patient, kind, forgiving, clever, sharp and I can’t believe he is mine, and worse, I can’t believe I am testing him like this! What did I do to deserve his love? Will I ever feel worthy of it?

Please God, can You help me face the truth? Will my guides help me?

Linda
29.09.10

This letter to God was a continuation on from the War of the Souls that I have published earlier. It highlights how difficult I find this emotional work at times and how difficult I find it to let go of addictions. I have been working on these emotions for months now, on and off, and still find that there is still much to work through around my soulmate relationship and particularly around sexual abuse and shame. All I can do is to continue to pray to God for the courage and willingness to go into the emotions and when they do begin to surface to allow myself to surrender to them rather than to fight which has been my pattern.

And then when I do have the courage to fully face an emotion and I feel God's Love enter my soul I feel the gentleness of God and I know it is all worthwhile.

God’s Gentleness

Shame rising in waves and crashing over me
Walls, strong and resilient, resisting the waves
Fear, overpowering me, blocking the emotions from flowing free
Grief overflowing, beckoning me into my cave

Falling deeper and deeper into myself
Unlocking the mysteries buried deep within
Grace lifting me up, giving me strength
Unlocking the errors that lie hidden inside

Truth emerging, setting me free
God’s Love filling my soul allowing me
Peace radiating outwards for all to see
God’s gentleness in loving me

Linda Munster
06.09.10



with Love

Linda

Thursday 14 April 2011

Thank You for loving me

Continuing on with the theme of Gatitude I share this poem with you

with love

Linda


Thank You for loving me

Thank You for loving me
For letting me know You are there
I know I don’t always show it
But Your love sets me free

Thank You for loving me
For holding me in your tender care
Sometimes it is a challenge
For me to trust that You really are there

Thank You for loving me
For teaching me everything I need to know
For the perfect ways that Your Laws
always bring me back home to You

Thank You for loving me
Even though I do not yet understand
Just what Your love means
And the power of something so grand

Thank You for loving me
For Your patience, grace and mercy
At times I feel so unworthy
It is hard to comprehend Your majesty

Thank You for loving me
For never giving up on me
At times I feel Your love so powerfully
It seems to overwhelm me.

Thank You for loving me.
Thank You


Linda Munster
20.06.10

Gratitude

Something that I sometimes forget to do is to express my gratitude to God for all that She has given to me, for the way She supports me through my struggles and doubts. I am aiming to change this, to make gratitude a large part of each and every day even when I am struggling with resistance to a particular emotion. I hope you find this letter to God of some benefit
love
Linda

Dear God,

I want to thank you for today and for showing me that I can trust You and that You are always there when I need You, even though I may not feel Your presence. But God, I want You to know how confused I feel about Your presence in my life. I don’t understand why it is that sometimes You hear and answer me and why sometimes You don’t seem to notice me? This issue with my health and my weight has been ongoing for so many years and I don’t understand how you could take away the success that I had when it had been so long coming? I know that You want me to know that it is I who took it all away but I am really struggling to understand that.

I want so much to understand why it is that I feel so unworthy and unlovable and I am grateful for the truths that You have shown me so far. But, at times I feel so overwhelmed by the toxic stew of emotions that are brewing within me that I find it difficult to really know that You really are with me. I want to remove the barriers that I keep putting between us. I want to experience our connection more fully.

I want to know what it really is to love and feel loved. I feel so unworthy of Your love and I wonder if I will ever be capable of understanding Your Truth and Your Love? And God, I don’t understand my relationship with John. I so want him and our children to know the joy of a relationship with You and to know what it is to be truly, deeply loved as only You can love us. Please help me to show them the way. Help me to remove the barriers that prevent my connection with You so that I may grow in love and understanding and in so doing show them the way to Your great love and truth.

Father, I am so grateful for the opportunity You have given me this weekend and for the beautiful teachers who are sharing their journey and their love with us this weekend. I still can’t believe that I know Jesus and Mary Magdalene!! I feel so unworthy to be here and yet I know that deep down, at some level, I am worthy of Your love and tender care.

Help me to truly feel that worthiness which is hidden deeply within me. Help me to fully feel and release all of the emotions of error within my soul that prevent me from having a truly deep and satisfying relationship with You.

I want so much to understand myself and to find that little girl again – the one who once knew joy and laughter and courage and love, but I fear that she is so well hidden that I may never find her!

I know that if I can only learn to fully trust in Your love and care that I will eventually find her, but I struggle so much at times and I feel so unworthy of Your love, of anyone’s love. I want to understand every aspect of my life and I want to release all of the barriers that prevent me from knowing, feeling and understanding Your great Love for me and Your Truths. I pray for Your guidance, especially when I stumble in the dark, and I pray for the awareness that I might recognize and learn from my Law of Attraction.

Father, I thank You for Your patience, mercy and understanding and I trust that You know that I give You all the love that I am capable of giving right now.

Linda
19.06.10

Monday 4 April 2011

Would You Know Him if You Saw Him

Last week I had an interesting experience with some of my family. As we were talking about what we were going to be doing for the weekend I was asked my plans and I spoke about going to Murgon for the weekend to the workshop on the God's Way of Love Organization. When asked about the organization and who AJ Miller was I said that he is Jesus and is here to reteach the truths that were lost and or distorted in the first century. I was surprised at the degree of anger that was projected and the fireceness with which some people protect their beliefs. I guess I felt a mixture of saddness and also acceptance as I know it is a fairly way out statement to make, especially to staunch Christians who believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and that no other truths could possibly exist. This reminded me of a poem I wrote early in my acquantance with AJ and when I checked the date I realized that this was in fact the first poem that I wrote. I share it now with you.

Would you know him if you saw him?

He walks amongst us once more
Returned as promised 2000 years ago
Living His life as an example to all
Showing the way back home
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

His message is honest and filled with love
His mission the same as before
Listen with your heart and you will know
His wisdom will lead you back home
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

Go beyond what you think you know
Challenge everything you have been taught
Listen with your heart and open your Soul
His love and wisdom is there for all who seek
There are no boundaries, no limits
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

To be in His presence is to be surrounded by love
And yet His absolute honesty and truth will challenge and frighten you.
He asks nothing of us, yet gives everything of Himself.
Are you ready to release your fears and doubts?
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

Love and truth and honesty will be your guide.


By Linda Munster
09.10.09