How I became a Madman

 I was doing some reflecting recently and found myself once again going to the messages from Judas which were received by Hans Radix in 2002.  One of my favourites is the message on Faith, Knowledge, Understanding and Trust - January 30^th 2002.  In this message Hans quotes a poem from Kahlil Gibran – How I became a Madman.  As I reflected upon the words in this poem I began to see many parallels with walking the Way to God. Here are my reflections on this great work.

First – The Complete Poem.

HOW I BECAME A MADMAN

You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen,-the seven masks I have fashioned an worn in seven lives,-I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, “Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves.”

Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, “He is a madman.” I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.”

Thus I became a madman.

And I have found both freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.

But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail is safe from another thief.

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How it fits with Walking the Way to God – my interpretations.

You ask me how I became a madman (how I came to look at the world differently and how I began to be seen as ‘mad’ by those with a mind closed to truth).  It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born (before the world placed many interpretations upon God) I woke from a deep sleep (from a life that I was living unconsciously) and found that all of my masks were stolen ( my masks are the façades that I had created in order to cover over my injured self), - the seven masks that I had fashioned and worn in seven lives (the different ways I present myself to the world according to who I am with and what side of me I want to present – partner, children, family, friends, work colleagues, church or religious associates, strangers) – I ran maskless through the crowded streets (revealing my real self for the first time to everyone around me) shouting “thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves” (afraid and exposed I want to blame others for the flaws which are now revealed for all to see).

Men and women laughed at me and some ran into their houses in fear of me (they could not understand how someone could be so exposed and allow themselves to be seen as they truly are.  They laughed at what they themselves are afraid of in order to cover their fear, and hid more carefully behind their façade masks).

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house top cried, “He is a Madman” (people don’t want to be confronted by error and imperfection and generally consider those brave enough to begin to ‘tear away their masks’ to be mad.  They don’t understand courage and prefer the safety of the herd mentality where it is easy to remain hidden amongst those who are the same as they are). I looked up to behold him; and the sun kissed my naked face for the first time (it is only when I am willing to drop my façade and expose the nakedness of my soul, with all of its blemishes and imperfections, that the love of God can kiss my soul). For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun and I wanted my masks no more (the Love of God is so powerful, so magical, that when I dare to drop the façade and expose all of my flaws and open up my soul to God’s Love and Grace; only then, can I not imagine a life without God’s Love.  It is like a drug and I constantly seek to have more of it – this healing Love that helps me to see and know the real me).  And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks” (because now I realize that it is my masks, my façade that prevents me from knowing God and feeling Her Love embrace my bare soul).

Thus I became a madman (no longer a part of the herd mentality but willing to learn to be my real, authentic, unique self – the self that God created).

And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness (the freedom to be myself and safety in God’s loving embrace); the freedom of the loneliness (happy and content to be by myself with God) and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us (understanding implies that from this point onwards I will remain the same; but my goal is to continually expand and grow, to change and discover new aspects of myself and God’s universe. I don’t want to be understood so much as to be known for who I truly am and I want to know you too).

But let me not be too proud of my safety.  Even a Thief in jail is safe from another thief (pride is the opposite of humility and humility is what is needed if I am to walk maskless in this world. I want to get to that point in my progression towards Love and Truth where, like Judas, I can say “now for me it is no longer a question of believing or not believing, now I simply know. I have felt the sunbeams of God’s Love on the naked skin of my soul.”(page 137)).

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So now the questions I must continually ask myself is “Why do I still cling so tightly to my masks as if I am guarding them with my very life?  What is preventing me from completely stripping off my masks and allowing God’s Love to kiss the nakedness of my bare soul, to hold it (me) firmly in Her Loving Embrace? How can I overcome the barriers that prevent me from stepping into full Humility, Love and Truth?

Please God, show me the Way Home.

(If you would like a copy of the full message referred to above or a complete copy of the Judas Messages please email me and I will forward it to you – munjolin@bigpond.com)