Clouds

I wrote this a little while ago but now that I re-read it I realize that it is as relevant today as it was then. I am still struggling with a deep causal emotion that I have been slowly working through over the past few months.  How little I understand about God and Her /Divine Love.  I want this to change!  I pray for the courage and the willingness to step deeply and completly into my fear and grief so that I might fully let go of all of my errors and and allow God's healing Love in.

................................................................................................................................................................

Clouds are rolling in across the valley floor now, floating softly through the air and forming a curtain of mist disguising the ridges behind them and temporarily changing the landscape.  But they do not sit still as they softly glide by, creating new vistas with every change as they rise up to meet the thicker band of cloud that is sitting atop the mountain and blocking it from view. 

It is darker now in the valley, grey and dull, but above the clouds a light shines through and a tiny speck of blue reminds me that nothing in God’s universe is permanent and that change is inevitable, even welcomed. 

So why then do I hold on so tightly to the things that cause me pain, not trusting this process, having no faith in the potential gain?  And yet right before me a transformation is taking place as soft clouds roll through the valley and lift gently over the mountains with such effortless ease and I am wondering what prevents me from gliding through this process of transformation of the soul?  What prevents me from embracing the changes in my soul, from grasping hold of those glimmers of light that have the power to lift me from the valley of despair and carry me over the mountains of doubt and fear into God’s loving embrace?  Why do I hold so tightly to the errors that cause me pain and keep me anchored to the valley floor?

As I silently observe God’s gifts unfolding across the sky I am greeted by a soft breeze, cool and fresh, lifting the clouds out of the valley so that they might merge with the vast sky and I can’t help but wonder what truth this is revealing to me?  Will God’s Love carry me out of my despair and beyond the restraints of my own soul to new heights where anything is possible?  Do I trust that this is possible?  Have I not already experienced the joy of soaring high on God’s Divine Love?  Why then do I still not trust this process unconditionally? What fear keeps me from relinquishing control to the Supreme Commander and allowing His Love and Laws to lead me where I need to go?

There is as yet so much that I still have to discover about my own soul, so many pains to feel and release and so much joy to experience.  I pray that with God’s help I will learn to fully embrace this process and to rejoice in the release of each error so that I might allow my soul to lift gently out of the valley of despair and learn to soar high upon the wings of God’s Love from where anything is possible and love and truth rule the day.

with love

Linda