For a while now I have wanted to write about some of my experiences but have been too fearful to do this because of large emotions around fear, rejection and ridicule. I realize that these emotions have been keeping me from stepping into my desire and it is time to challenge this. I no longer want to live a life of fear, I want to spread my wings and learn to fly and I am learning that with God's Grace anything is possible.
I "discovered" the Divine Love Path about 20months ago and have been very blessed to have met many wonderful brothers and sisters who have encouraged and supported me on my journey. In the course of our sharing, learning and growing I have at times shared some of my letters and poems to God along with some of my reflections and these have been well received. It is with this encouragement that I step into my desire and share with you here some of my journey towards Love and Truth, the things that have inspired and challenged me.
This blog is a sharing of reflections, letters and poems to God that I have written over the past year and a half and of those I have yet to write. It is my hope that these may help and encourage you on your own personal journey and that in time you may feel free to share some of your own experiences and discoveries here as well.
One of the things that I have learnt on this path is that God already knows everything about me and loves me anyway. My Celestial Guides already know everything about me and love me anyway. My challenge is to go deep into the hidden recesses of my soul and uncover the hidden parts of myself and learn to love me in spite of these. It is a challenge that at times I find very daunting as I realize that there are parts of myself that I would rather keep well hidden, except that this is an illusion. In God's world there are NO SECRETS. It is time to live life on earth in the same way - with no secrets and in love.
My thanks go to Yeshua and Mary for their inspiration and example of what real love truly is and for their examples of courage, truth and unconditional love. You are my inspiration and my greatest teachers and I am very grateful for your love, patience and encouragement.
with much love and blessings
This first poem was written after I have been following the teachings of AJ Miller and learning about Divine Love for approximately five months. It really is the begining of my journey into myself.
I have been sitting in my unworthiness this week and realizing how many facets there are to it. Unworthiness is such a deeply denied emotion over so many generations because it is so painful to feel. Yesterday and today there have been many tears shed over my unworthiness. Yesterday it was around mother and teachers. Today around childhood traumas, getting the strap from dad when we were naughty and really feeling at a soul level that I was not loved by either of my parents and feeling their own unworthiness and overwhelmed feelings of inadequacy, then going back even further for just a glimpse of my grandparents emotions. So much fear and doubt has been held within our souls for so much time and I am relieved to finally be able to let some of it go.
I know I have not yet worked through all of my unworthiness issues but I have made a start and that is a wonderful thing! I have been sitting in my unworthiness this week and realizing how many facets there are to it. Unworthiness is such a deeply denied emotion over so many generations because it is so painful to feel. Yesterday and today there have been many tears shed over my unworthiness.
I have also been sitting with some discomfort around the Padget Messages and in the prayer this morning I realized that the emotion that was coming up was jealousy! Again related to unworthiness and I think that was the trigger for this morning’s tears. How horrified I felt when I realized that I was jealous of Jesus! What a shock to my soul to acknowledge that emotion, an emotion that I did not realize that I had within me because it has been so deeply hidden and then there was a lot of guilt around that. There is so much still to work through, so much fear still existing in my soul and I have barely begun to scratch the surface.