A New Day is Unfolding

I wrote this poem at the begining of this year, initially I titled it A New Year is Unfolding then I realized that it really applies to each new day and changed it. It is a reminder to me that each new day is a new begining no matter what it reveals and that God is constantly by my side. It reminds me to constantly challenge my fears and to leartn to trust God and when I do let go of control and trust, miracles can happen and I witness this each day. A new day is unfolding with its endless potential, what will you do with it? What will I?

A New Day is Unfolding

A new day is unfolding with all of its hidden potential and mystery
Will you embrace it and all that it has to offer?
Or will you just sit on the sidelines and watch it pass you by?
Will you rise to its challenges and walk with God by your side?
Or will you hide in fear and confusion?
Will you have the courage to follow your passions and desires
no matter how small or grand?
Or will you convince yourself that you are unworthy of even the smallest triumph?
A new day is unfolding, beckoning you on
Don’t be afraid to step into the unknown for you never walk alone
God is always by your side and also your unseen guides
It is time to look deep within, to heed the voice that calls you on.
It is time to let your light shine.
A new day is unfolding with all of its hidden potential and mystery
Will you have the courage to carry God’s light and love
Into the darkness for others to see?
Will you have the courage to carry God’s light and love into the darkness
So that She may reveal all that is hidden there?
Will you have the courage to show the way and together with your brothers
And sisters reveal a hidden paradise that lies waiting for all to enjoy?
A new day is unfolding beckoning you on
Waiting for you to discover its treasures.
Don’t be afraid to step into the unknown
For you never walk alone.

Linda
01.01.11

Lost in the Wilderness and God's Gentleness

Dear God,

Why did you make this so hard? There is an ache deep within my soul crying out to be loved and to love my soulmate and at the same time there is a deep shame and fear preventing me from doing so fully and I don’t understand it! I don’t understand what this pain and shame is about and I don’t understand why I am so afraid to face it!.. Can You help me please? I can’t do this alone and right now I feel so very alone and confused and afraid and I don’t know what to do.

I have tried connecting to this emotion but it feels scary and too painful to face. Will I ever be able to make love with my soulmate again without pain or shame? God, I love him so much it hurts and yet I am not able to show him my love fully but still he loves me, still he wants me, still he holds and comforts me and I feel so very unworthy of his love. What is this soulmate love Father? Have I really been privileged enough to have known this one true love for over thirty years God? Why? I feel so fat and unlovable in this body Father and I don’t understand why he would even want to love me! Why do You love me?

This all feels so confusing and I have nowhere to turn. I wish I could understand! I wish I had the courage and willingness to face the truth of this emotion, but I am weary God, and I have no strength or motivation now – it is late and I am tired, confused and doubting everything! I wish I understood!

Where are You Father when I need You? Am I such a lost and hopeless cause that my voice is so weak and distorted in the wilderness that even You do not hear me? I want to understand but deep within me there is a huge resistance to this truth that I am to afraid to go there. Right now I find that I don’t trust You, I can’t trust You and I don’t understand why this is? Can You help me to understand please? Please God, will You hear my cry? Will You answer me? Will You help me?

I can’t sleep – I can’t feel – what am I left to do? Will You help me please? Help me to have the courage and willingness to face the truth of this emotion! What is the truth Father? Will I ever know it? Will I ever be free of this burden? Will I ever understand?

He lies in our bed, asleep now, is he dreaming of me? Dreaming of the love we once new, the love that now seems to be a faint memory? He is everything I aspire to be – loving, gentle, patient, kind, forgiving, clever, sharp and I can’t believe he is mine, and worse, I can’t believe I am testing him like this! What did I do to deserve his love? Will I ever feel worthy of it?

Please God, can You help me face the truth? Will my guides help me?

Linda
29.09.10

This letter to God was a continuation on from the War of the Souls that I have published earlier. It highlights how difficult I find this emotional work at times and how difficult I find it to let go of addictions. I have been working on these emotions for months now, on and off, and still find that there is still much to work through around my soulmate relationship and particularly around sexual abuse and shame. All I can do is to continue to pray to God for the courage and willingness to go into the emotions and when they do begin to surface to allow myself to surrender to them rather than to fight which has been my pattern.

And then when I do have the courage to fully face an emotion and I feel God's Love enter my soul I feel the gentleness of God and I know it is all worthwhile.

God’s Gentleness

Shame rising in waves and crashing over me
Walls, strong and resilient, resisting the waves
Fear, overpowering me, blocking the emotions from flowing free
Grief overflowing, beckoning me into my cave

Falling deeper and deeper into myself
Unlocking the mysteries buried deep within
Grace lifting me up, giving me strength
Unlocking the errors that lie hidden inside

Truth emerging, setting me free
God’s Love filling my soul allowing me
Peace radiating outwards for all to see
God’s gentleness in loving me

Linda Munster
06.09.10



with Love

Linda

Thank You for loving me

Continuing on with the theme of Gatitude I share this poem with you

with love

Linda


Thank You for loving me

Thank You for loving me
For letting me know You are there
I know I don’t always show it
But Your love sets me free

Thank You for loving me
For holding me in your tender care
Sometimes it is a challenge
For me to trust that You really are there

Thank You for loving me
For teaching me everything I need to know
For the perfect ways that Your Laws
always bring me back home to You

Thank You for loving me
Even though I do not yet understand
Just what Your love means
And the power of something so grand

Thank You for loving me
For Your patience, grace and mercy
At times I feel so unworthy
It is hard to comprehend Your majesty

Thank You for loving me
For never giving up on me
At times I feel Your love so powerfully
It seems to overwhelm me.

Thank You for loving me.
Thank You


Linda Munster
20.06.10

Gratitude

Something that I sometimes forget to do is to express my gratitude to God for all that She has given to me, for the way She supports me through my struggles and doubts. I am aiming to change this, to make gratitude a large part of each and every day even when I am struggling with resistance to a particular emotion. I hope you find this letter to God of some benefit
love
Linda

Dear God,

I want to thank you for today and for showing me that I can trust You and that You are always there when I need You, even though I may not feel Your presence. But God, I want You to know how confused I feel about Your presence in my life. I don’t understand why it is that sometimes You hear and answer me and why sometimes You don’t seem to notice me? This issue with my health and my weight has been ongoing for so many years and I don’t understand how you could take away the success that I had when it had been so long coming? I know that You want me to know that it is I who took it all away but I am really struggling to understand that.

I want so much to understand why it is that I feel so unworthy and unlovable and I am grateful for the truths that You have shown me so far. But, at times I feel so overwhelmed by the toxic stew of emotions that are brewing within me that I find it difficult to really know that You really are with me. I want to remove the barriers that I keep putting between us. I want to experience our connection more fully.

I want to know what it really is to love and feel loved. I feel so unworthy of Your love and I wonder if I will ever be capable of understanding Your Truth and Your Love? And God, I don’t understand my relationship with John. I so want him and our children to know the joy of a relationship with You and to know what it is to be truly, deeply loved as only You can love us. Please help me to show them the way. Help me to remove the barriers that prevent my connection with You so that I may grow in love and understanding and in so doing show them the way to Your great love and truth.

Father, I am so grateful for the opportunity You have given me this weekend and for the beautiful teachers who are sharing their journey and their love with us this weekend. I still can’t believe that I know Jesus and Mary Magdalene!! I feel so unworthy to be here and yet I know that deep down, at some level, I am worthy of Your love and tender care.

Help me to truly feel that worthiness which is hidden deeply within me. Help me to fully feel and release all of the emotions of error within my soul that prevent me from having a truly deep and satisfying relationship with You.

I want so much to understand myself and to find that little girl again – the one who once knew joy and laughter and courage and love, but I fear that she is so well hidden that I may never find her!

I know that if I can only learn to fully trust in Your love and care that I will eventually find her, but I struggle so much at times and I feel so unworthy of Your love, of anyone’s love. I want to understand every aspect of my life and I want to release all of the barriers that prevent me from knowing, feeling and understanding Your great Love for me and Your Truths. I pray for Your guidance, especially when I stumble in the dark, and I pray for the awareness that I might recognize and learn from my Law of Attraction.

Father, I thank You for Your patience, mercy and understanding and I trust that You know that I give You all the love that I am capable of giving right now.

Linda
19.06.10

Would You Know Him if You Saw Him

Last week I had an interesting experience with some of my family. As we were talking about what we were going to be doing for the weekend I was asked my plans and I spoke about going to Murgon for the weekend to the workshop on the God's Way of Love Organization. When asked about the organization and who AJ Miller was I said that he is Jesus and is here to reteach the truths that were lost and or distorted in the first century. I was surprised at the degree of anger that was projected and the fireceness with which some people protect their beliefs. I guess I felt a mixture of saddness and also acceptance as I know it is a fairly way out statement to make, especially to staunch Christians who believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and that no other truths could possibly exist. This reminded me of a poem I wrote early in my acquantance with AJ and when I checked the date I realized that this was in fact the first poem that I wrote. I share it now with you.

Would you know him if you saw him?

He walks amongst us once more
Returned as promised 2000 years ago
Living His life as an example to all
Showing the way back home
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

His message is honest and filled with love
His mission the same as before
Listen with your heart and you will know
His wisdom will lead you back home
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

Go beyond what you think you know
Challenge everything you have been taught
Listen with your heart and open your Soul
His love and wisdom is there for all who seek
There are no boundaries, no limits
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

To be in His presence is to be surrounded by love
And yet His absolute honesty and truth will challenge and frighten you.
He asks nothing of us, yet gives everything of Himself.
Are you ready to release your fears and doubts?
Would you know Him if you saw Him?
Would you believe it is Him?
How would you know?

Love and truth and honesty will be your guide.


By Linda Munster
09.10.09

God is my Shining Light

Right now I need to visit this place but for some reason that I am not yet willing to face I am unable to go there at present but I remember that God IS my shining light and I pray for the courage and willingness to go there soon

love
Linda

God is My Shining Light

There is a place that I go to
Sometimes when I am feeling brave
It is vast and dark and scary
And many mysteries are buried in this cave

I can see a tiny light
Deep within its core
And it draws me deeper inwards
Searching for its source

But there are many twists and turns
Within this deep dark place
And sometimes I feel so lost and alone
As I cautiously and timidly explore

Sometimes it feels too scary
To continue on any further
And I quietly pull myself back
For fear of being swallowed there

But that tiny light deep within its centre
Keeps beckoning me in
And it sometimes seems so beautiful
I find myself going boldly there

And when I face the deep darkness
And have the courage to get past the cracks
I am rewarded with a beauty and peacefulness
That is so bright and full of tenderness

For it is You waiting there for me
Your loving presence beckoning me in
It is Your light that shines so brightly
Washing over me therein

For You are the centre of my world
My only guiding light
And when I have the courage to face the darkness
Your love makes it seem alright.


Linda Munster
22.06.10

The War of Souls

I have been going over my workbooks for the past year or so and came across the following entry which very much fits with what I am feeling at the moment so I am sharing it here now also in the hope that rewriting it might help me to have the courage to face the deeper emotion that I am right now resisting.

With love

Linda

The war of the souls

There is a war raging inside of me, a war that I have little hope of understanding, let alone quelling and it is a war for my soul. The more I read, the more I listen, the more I discus with others is the more I become confused. What is real? What are these feelings rising within me and what do they mean? I wish I understood! Where is God in all of my torment and confusion? Yet, only I alone can answer the very questions that vex me! I, who knows so little, yet longs for so much, hold the key to my own salvation - if only I knew where to find it!! If only I would have the patience and persistence to sift through the debris and keep sifting until I find it!

There is a huge longing in my soul to know God and to know and understand His Laws and the depth of His love, and yet there is such a huge resistance within me to that longing. A fear that I can not explain, that I do not understand. At times this fear is so overpowering that I give in to it and I retreat from my longings, from my searching. Why?

I can not say, but I know that this constant struggle between desire and resistance is wearing me down. At times a sense of hopelessness engulfs me. It all seems too hard and I begin to doubt myself, to doubt even God! Then the horror of that doubt takes over and I cringe when I think how little faith I have, how little trust I have and I despair of ever understanding.

Why is it that I keep myself on this roller-coaster ride? Why do I keep participating in this tug-o-war for my soul? For it is only I who directs my soul, I who makes these choices that I do not understand. Do I have so little love for myself that I would keep myself in constant turmoil? Will I ever understand what it is to love unconditionally - Myself? God? My brothers and sisters?

Where are You God in all of my struggles? Jesus said "seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open unto you, ask and you will receive" and yet in all of my seeking, banging (for I am too impatient to knock politely) and asking I struggle to hear Your response Father, I can not find the key to unlock the door. But in all of my confusion and torment I will not give up, I will continue to knock, to seek, and to ask for Your guidance and support for I believe in Your Justice and Your Mercy. My soul is mine alone and only I, along with my soulmate and God can have any say in its growth and development.

I feel like I am drowning, drowning in self-pity and doubt and at times I fear that the others are winning, but I won't let that happen. I have faith in God and hope in His mercy, but right now I am in need of a guiding light, in need of a helping hand but from whence will it come?

I am tired God, tired of running away. Tired of struggling, always struggling! How can I change this? Is there anyone who understands, really understands? Why do I feel so alone and useless? These feelings that I have, are they longings or is it just a huge neediness inside of me that I need to let go of? Will anyone help me or am I compelled to walk this path alone?

I feel alone God. Alone and Lonely! Confused and frightened! Whom can I trust?

I do not want to keep dipping in and out God. Won't You please help me to have the courage and the willingness to brave the deepest, darkest depths of my soul? I can't go there alone Father and only You can help me. Only You can be my guide, and yet, without courage and the willingness to go there my efforts will be in vain! Won't You help me please? Help me to find the courage to face the darkest depths of my soul?

Grief engulfs me now and tears stream from my eyes, my nose drips and the flood gates open. I surrender to the grief. I don't know where it will take me, and I am not even sure that I care, I just want to free my soul of its burden in the hope that in doing so I will learn to love, really love, to love unconditionally God, myself, my soulmate, my brothers and sisters.

Take me Father for I am Yours and Yours alone. Shield me. Protect me. Guide me. Love me.

Where is she God in all of this, the little girl, where is she? Where is the one who hides in the corner alone and frightened? Whose pain does she share - her mother's? her father's? her ancestors? her own? She feels alone Father, alone and frightened, so little and so fragile, so afraid and confused and she is turning inward. Looking for a sanctuary deep within her being, somewhere to hide, someone to trust. But there is no one and she feels alone, totally alone, and there is no one to trust so she goes deeper and deeper within. Hoping to escape her agony. Hoping to find solace in the depths of her soul, for she doesn't know where to turn, she doesn't know who to trust for in the past whenever she had trusted anyone in her few short years, she has been disappointed, hurt, abandoned and abused. They tried to crush her spirit but they will not succeed for there is a strength within her that she is beginning to understand that she possesses. So she turns inwards to herself and to God for only God could possible understand her pain, her agony, her loneliness.

Deeper and deeper she goes to that place that only she and God can reach. To that place where her secrets are safe, for she knows that God will not betray her as others have done. God is her friend, her only true friend. The grief is deep now as she begins to remember her torment, the secrets she has kept so deeply hidden, buried beneath a bold, cheeky exterior that was cleverly constructed to hide her pain, the pain that only God bore witness to. She learns to become bold, brash and cheeky taking what she needs to comfort her soul. Lashing out in anger at any who try to comfort her. She begins to build a wall around her for her protection but in her haste there are gaps where a little light can shine through.

God has not abandoned her and the gaps in the wall allow glimpses of God's mercy and goodness to shine through, but she is relentless in her desire to protect herself. She doesn't want anyone to know her secrets, she wants and needs to be able to hide, to be safe, to feel loved. No one notices the wall that she so cleverly constructs around herself and they ignore her pain and anguish, too deeply caught in their own loveless traps to notice a little girl in pain and confusion. Too hurt themselves to even try to understand. There is only God. God alone can help her and she clings to that knowledge, that ray of hope. She will never give in. They will not defeat her. Her soul belongs to her and to God alone.

So where are You now God when I need You? Do not abandon me in my anguish. Lift this burden from my soul that I might begin to know what it is to love, to truly love all as You love me.

Teach me compassion. Teach me forgivness. Teach me mercy. Teach me to Love.

I surrender now and allow myself to feel into my grief for I do not know how long. I feel my soul giving in to God's grace and mercy and I feel a sense of peace engulf me so completely as to collapse from exhaustion into the comforting arms of God and I allow myself to rest there a while to revive my weary but joyful soul and then I remember, if only a little, the goodness and mercy of God's loving embrace.

There is still so much that I have yet to understand, so many treacherous paths to cross, but with each new crossing I gain a strength of purpose and fan the desire deep within my soul to learn to love without condition or favour and I gain a newfound hope that this task is not yet impossible.

Linda
04.10.10